Wednesday, January 30, 2008 Went to school as per normal. Nothing special happened today lah. Just that, again, I was super noisy in Chinese class. Haha. Bleahs. too active today. Haha. Anyway, had morning run and stuff. Hui Yi and I ok liao. :D Just came back from dinner with Hui Yi. She's not happy. Some stuff happened.. I hope she'll let go, and be happy. :D blogged @ 7:22 PM Just came back from VIVA LA MUSICA III. Wow. It's so successful lah. Anyway, shall start from the start of the day. :D Went to school as per normal. School was fine. Can't remember what happen. Bleah. =/ Anyway, Hui Yi wasn't feeling well today. Recess-ed with Zoe and Chen2. Nahh~ Makes no difference with me having recess alone. 'Cos it's like they don't let me go away as in they scared I anyhow run then don't know go where luhs. =/ So anyway, Zoe was caught by Mrs Tan for her long nails and was asked to go to the office to cut them. She was like so reluctant to cut her pinky's nail luhh. Haha. Fortune finger. Hehe. Went back to class after recess for the next lesson. Was literally sleeping during Math lesson lah. Chen2 was sitting next to me. Interesting person. Hah. She was telling me that she's so tired these days due to the Band practices she have for the concert. Awwwww. Xin ku ni le! So anyway, had Chinese supp class after school. I was really making alot of noise. Bleah. I think I have always made lotsa noise. Heh. But ok lah, managed to finish my compre. :DD Then took a bus home with Sophia since it was raining already and I'm unable to walk home. Reached home, used comp awhile, and got ready to go for Band concert at Singapore Conference Hall. Met Dylan, Hui Yi, Zoe, Jin Wei, Shane and friends. Then had dinner at KFC. (WTH. KFC again. =/) Anyway, wasted lotsa time in KFC, and only left at about 1930hrs. Zoe's uncle drove us there. 7-seater car contain about 10 people. WTH. Nah~ Nvm. So, reached there exactly at 8pm. Everybody were in their best attires. Nah~ Excluding me. ): Anyway, went into the Hall, found a seat to sit down. Concert started. Everything ended at about 10 plus. Some stuff happened to Hui Yi and I. Nahh~ Don't wanna talk about it. No mood to take pictures. So there's less than ten pictures. =/ I went home with Sophia, Seha, Haziq, Maya and Hadi instead. Oh yah, there was this guy who was so exagerating in his attire can. Dressed in shades, a coat, looked like a God of gamble. =/ Eh. I just reached home at about 11. And here I am blogging. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FHARMY! blogged @ 12:05 AM Monday, January 28, 2008 Yey. I managed to finish running during morning run this morning. Ran for 20 minutes. Mr Pang was there pushing us and motivating us. Mrs Kong came down to see us too. She was also there to support us. So good right. Haha. VP also come down leh! Bleahs. Anyway, my whole PE T-shirt was wet. I felt so refreshing lahh after the run. :D Indeed after running, I don't feel tired! ((: So anyway, went back to class for silent reading after changing out into our uniform. Then after that Physics, Chinese, Math, Recess then Math again. Recess was in AVA room as usual for the Sec4s and 5s TAF club pupils. Wah. I still felt hungry even eating the sandwich they provided. =/ But nvm lah. I tolerate my hunger until after school. School was fine. Went Tech View for lunch after school wth Hui Yi. Then chatted, ate, waited for Tian Loke to finish school. 'Cos Hui Yi wanna pass him his birthday present. We left at about 3 plus. Went Bedok Inter to get some stuff, then went home. Went to look for Stanley at 101 Station. Actually not really go look for him lah. Just went to 101 Station to get a gift for Hui Yi's friend then just called Stanley down lor. He was in Bedok what. Oh yah. I just got to know a very cool thing today. Electricity also can top up one. As in like you can top up your electricity at the post office with a key. Unlike normal households having to pay their electricity bills monthly. Cool right. :D After that just went home lor. Then I went to sleep after awhile in front of the comp. Was about 5 plus already. Suddenly, Zoe called me. Then we chatted lah. Until 7 odd. Just had dinne, and had a bath. Gonna do my homework already. So. BYEE~ :D blogged @ 7:37 PM Sunday, January 27, 2008 Went to meet Timothy at Kembangan MRT, 1030hrs. Someone from his church (?) who is his friend's dad, sent us to his church. Was kinda early. Since the thing starts at 1130hrs. Don't know why meet so early luhs. Nvm, since it was still early, went to the coffeeshop near his church to have a drink. He was "pissed" with my MSN msg tone. Haha. Bleah. Oh yes, he asked me what I wanna drink then I was like, "plain water." Then he say I lame. WTH. Nothing to talk about lah. He was the one doing the talking. And me, answering. =/ So anyway, introduced me to some of his friends. I can't remember many names. How pathetic. Wahlao. Kena pang seh. Like I don't really feel welcome lah. I don't know why. The feeling is so much different from like when I went to Shawn papa's church and stuff. But ok lah. The people there are nice. I think. So anyway, had briefing for the Amazing Race. Were splitted into different groups. (Sian-ed. Nobody in the group I really talk to. I mean don't know lah. Oh, Tim andI were in different groups. More sian. 'Cos nobody talk to me.):] Then lunch. Then set off at 1300hrs. Had 5 checkpoints to go. All around Marine Parade, East Coast Park one. Wasn't really in the mood to run. But still had to run lah. So we went to NTUC at Marine Parade to do some stuff there. Oh my goodness. I saw Paul. -.- Not a really bad thing to start with right? Oops. But anyway, headed to East Coast park to do the rest of our checkpoints. At one of the checkpoints, we had to fill up a bucket not using any bottles or anything. My group which have like all the girls except to guys, came up with this stupid, disgusting idea. But fun lah. So, this girl, Sabrina, was suggesting using Sanitary Pads to absorb the water then squeeze them into the bucket. WTH right. The rest of the girls went searching into their bags for pads. Haha. So, yah lah. They used them to absorb water, one guy used his shoes, Sabrina used her shoes in the end, one guy used his shirt. Then I used the plastic which was used to contain the pad. =/ The checkpoint masters were like, OMG that kinda reaction. Bleah. Had to reach back to the church by 1715hrs. My groups was the third to reach which was at about 1645hrs. Had cheer competition. Then total up everything and stuff. Finished everything at about 1800hrs. I went home alone. 'Cos SOMEBODY got his parents to fetch him home. How lucky. Damn the bus. I waited 16 minutes for it. Seem so long can. But nvm lah. I'm at home now anyway. Feeling abit headache. End here. Byee.~ blogged @ 7:27 PM Saturday, January 26, 2008 Went for GB this morning. Got a new girl from Thailand. her name is Phet. :DDD Heh. She's 14. Yey. Haha. Anyway, parade today was.. Fine, I suppose.. Nothing special. Was rather dead today. None of them were active like they could be. Whatever. I miss Jing Han.. She'll always correct me when I make a mistake. But today is a total screw up for drills. i really don't know how to teach DS2. And I really hoped that Jing Han was there.): Jing Han, why you cannot come?!!! I want to cry lahhhhh. T.T Sian-ed. After GB, went to meet Hui Yi with Xin Hui and her sister at Bedok MRT platform. Please. Xin Hui and I were still in our GB Coy tee and cullottes. Bleah. Proceeded to Dhoby Ghaut. And went to This Fashion. Got Hui Yi's dress. Then went down to Bugis. Damn. Everybody's doing alot of last minute shopping for CNY lah. So, the traffic lights leading to Bugis Street was filled with people. Like being in a MRT train during peak hours. Imagine everyone was squeezing to cross the road and there's so many guys jumping over "fence" and jay-walked. -.- Took alot of time to squeeze in to the crowded streets and alot of time to look for Xin Hui's clothes. In the end, she only got her skinny jeans. -.- So anyway, went to Food Junction for dinner. There's this couple started to talk to us lah. Was pretty strange la. I mean of course, they are strangers. -.- So ok lah. Enough of that. Hmm. Meeting friend tmr for some Amazing Race thing. Then will mett Belinda to get my stuff. Then Monday go back school. Arghh. Oh yey. Tuesday is Viva La Musical III. :DD Ok lah. End here today. Byee~ blogged @ 8:50 PM Friday, January 25, 2008 Finall, it's the last day of the week again. And just with a snap of fingers, 3 weeks gone. Arghh. So far, 2008 is fine (I hope). Just that too many things had happened. Regardless of anything in school, or to my personal life. A recently cork up joke screwed me up. Whatever lah. Some people will know it. It's ok if you don't understand. So anyway, back to to where we are. Went to school in Dad's pick-up this morning. Was feeling so tired then I don't have the mood to do anything. I mean seriously. I think I suck-ed today. English lesson was fun. Miss Nurul was so dramatic lah. I mean she made the lesson so lively. Like she always do. (: Recess-ed with Hui Yi. POA lesson was fine. MT lesson was fine too. I love going for MT lessons lah. I mean I get to see Mr Goh and my other close friends from 4E. :DD Anyway, after MT, I walked home alone.. I was on the verge of crying. I really had no idea why. I don't mind walking home alone 'cos I always do. Just that. There's some problems lahh. I don't know if the problem lies with me. Suddenly, I needed a shoulder. My tears rolld down my cheeks though I tried to stop them. Damn. But I just walked on. I had no mood to walk home. However, I still did. I still walked home. And suddenly, time seem to be slowing for me. I walked the normal way home, I walked and walked and walked, I couldn't care about my environment. The weather is so hot that I think I can fry an egg somewhere. I reached home and I just went to sleep. How boring. blogged @ 5:24 PM I saw this story in Eldrid's blog. Sounds meaningful.. Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean? (www.laozhabor.blogspot.com) A daughter complained to her father about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that just as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In one he placed carrots, in the second he placed eggs, and the last he placed ground coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without saying a word. The daughter sucked her teeth and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. In about twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then he ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her he asked, "Darling, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. He brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. She humbly asked, "What does it mean, Father?" He explained that each of them had faced the same adversity, boiling water, but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. But after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" he asked his daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" How about you? Are you the carrot that seems hard, but with pain and adversity do you wilt and become soft and lose your strength? Are you the egg, which starts off with a malleable heart? Were you a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a divorce, or a layoff have you become hardened and stiff? Your shell looks the same, but are you bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and heart? Or are you like the coffee bean? The bean changes the hot water, the thing that is bringing the pain, to its peak flavor reaches 212 degrees Fahrenheit. When the water gets the hottest, it just tastes better. If you are like the coffee bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and make things better around you. How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean? blogged @ 5:08 PM Thursday, January 24, 2008 Alright. Just came back from tuition. Eh. Why today the weather so hot sia? Grr. Went to school in Dad's pick-up. 'Cos was pretty late luhs. Anyway, had PE today. Was fine. But I got left out. And today I've got mood swing. Bad day. I suppose. But nahh~ Had English test today. Nth special. Just another day. Recess-ed with Hui Yi. Eh. There's nth much to update today. Just that after school, went back to class to finish up our "hamper" for Auction. Managed to finish it. Then went to the hall to see the different expressions. =/ Yea, today's the release of O level results. Pretty happy for Dom Lim, Jeremy Chua, Hui Ying and Pei Ting. Dom Lim and Jeremy Chua got L1R4 14. I think. Cheng Hoong I don't know. Never ask. Yong Siang also I never ask. =/ So anyway, Hui Ying and Pei Ting got L1R4 12. :DD Congrats! :D Walked home with Hui Ying. Hah. She was so tired when she reached my house. =/ Anyway, tuition today was alright. I was pretty noisy. Haha. 'Cos I don't know how to do certain sums. But ok lah. With the help of Mr Hong, San2 and Leong Bing I understood a little. =/ Our end product. Furry orange. :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZOEY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY REBECCA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL GOH! blogged @ 10:17 PM Wednesday, January 23, 2008 Yey. Had morning run this morning. I was damn lazy to run lahh. But ok lah. I still perspired. HAHA. That's a good thing. I suppose. Anyway, back to class. POA was first. Wow. I seriously admire Mrs Cheah lah. She come in only, everybody so good do their work. They kai qiao liao. Haha. So anyway, had 3 tests today. SS was first. I sure screw up one lor. I cannot finish my second Structured essay question! And I forgot everything lah. Dumb. Had Maths test today also. It was ok. I know how to do the sums. :D I think I will fail my Chinese test lah. I don't even know what I writting for Compre can. Mr Goh is so going to kill me. =/ After school, went back to class to meet Roshinee they all. Hoping we can finish some stuff. But in the end we didn't do much lah. Had to finish everything by tmr. I'm so bored. I don't why I feel so empty. =/ I want to talk to somebody! Suddenly I feel like talking to Brandon. But he not online. But even if I tak to him also like nothing to say leh. But anyway, nahh~ Walked home with Hui Yi today. :D But we went for lunch first. Then we walked the Bedok Town Park way back to my house. So yah. Used the comp. Then I went to sleep while I leave Hui Yi with the comp. Then after that she came in and tell me my bro's back. -.- Eh. I was having my sleep! Anyway, she was like, "Eh I last night never sleep also not as tired as you lahh". I think I'm not only emotionally tired but obviously I'm physically tired tooo. =/ Ok lah. I end here for today. Oh yah, I did a test Hui Yi told me to do just now. And it's like so accurate lah. Maybe I shall post the test huh? Haha. Ok lah.. BYE~ Bigger ones. Smaller ones.. Flower ring. :D blogged @ 7:40 PM Tuesday, January 22, 2008 Alright. I'm back home. School today was fun. I was like sleeping during Math lesson lor. 'Cos seruiously I don't feel very well this morning. Don't know why. I just feel lethargic. I felt damn tired this morning. Or rather had a little headache. But nobody care lah. I also don't care. =/ Anyway, today was quite fine. During English, had a little bit of laughter. 'Cos Fatimah saw the word "veterinarian" as "vegetarian". And she really wrote "vegetarian" instead of "veterinarian" luhs. So all of us were like laughing at her mistake lah. Even she aso laughing at herself. Damn cute. Nadhira is really a joy lah. She's very cute can. She was playing with Zoe's watch then Miss Nurul came by and stare at her. Haha. So had quite abit of fun today. Had House Annual General Meeting today. So, finally Vincent, Swee Ping, Yu Bing and I stepped down already. Being a Captain of 300++ students is definitely not a very easy thing. Though seriously we didn't do much. Only when we have events like Annual Youth Carnival then we got a little bit more busy. Other than that, we didn't do much. And I sure was hated by many people. I don't know why. But Jing han once told me because I am a very harsh person so yah lah. That led to many people disliking me. =/ But nahh~ I try not to be harsh anymore. I still am, definitely. But, do give me some time to change. :D After AGM, went back to class to do our CNY Auction stuff. Then anotehr round of AGM for the Sec4s and 5s. Attendance was "WOW!" Not many people lah. 'Cos most of them jabot AGM. I then walked home again. Reached Sheng Shong and went in to get some stuff. Then went home. Met Carmen after that. Ate abit, then walked home. While walking home, we walked past old Yu Neng building which is now CHIJ Katong Pri Sch. We talked about how we used to "survive" in there. And how much we missed everything in primary school. Nahh~ But we have to move on.. So yah lah. I'm home blogging. :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL THAY! blogged @ 5:59 PM Monday, January 21, 2008 Just came back from meeting Hui Yi at her house there. Anyway, went to school as usual. Nothing very special. I had morning run this morning. I somehow feel fresher after the run. Tiring but worth it. :D I somehow enjoyed my day toda. I guess. After revealing some truth, I don't feel upset. But I do, for being cheated. Whatever. Grace and I went to Miss Fanny Tan's house today. Wahlao. Her house is bungalow ok? And is not those one storey one lor. Is THREE storeys lor. Anyway, that's not the point. Went to her house to have like tuition lah. 'Cos alot of stuff I don't know how to do. Then Ms Goh also left already. Whatever. Mrs Cheah is coming to teach us. Anyway, chatted with Miss Tan and I really enjoy talking to her lah. I don't know why. I just enjoy talking to her. :D After that, train-ed to Tampines. Waited bus with Miss Tan then Grace and I went to source for food at TM. We then walked home from Tampines. But Grace took a bus home at the bus stop near Aquarius Condo. I continued to walked home. Then after that I go meet Hui Yi. Slacked. And chatted. (: SEEEEEEEE! This is Miss Tan's house. So big lah. blogged @ 10:12 PM Sunday, January 20, 2008 Just came back from Eunos CC. Went for this SLC Orientation for Sec3s thing. Everything was fine. Nothing much to update about. Met Jin Hui and went Eunos CC together. Had some presentation and stuff. Then went on to team building games. It sucked. I still prefer ours, which we had played last year during our orientation. This year they don't have food. HAHA. Our cohort, first batch, we got buffet. Haha. Then they don't have. They only got a packet of drink. =/ Everything ended at around 1630hrs. Jin Hui and I took bus and went Bedok Inter. We didn't exchange a word in the bus. 'Cos I wasn't feeling that well. Emotionally lah. So anyway, went Bedok to get some stuff for my class. Since we have to do the Auction thing. Pretty pathetic. But finally I bought the things needed. Meeting Yi Chun later for dinner. So, I guess I'm going off already. BYEE~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACE! blogged @ 5:40 PM Saturday, January 19, 2008 Went to meet Belinda to get my CNY clothes. Met her outside Grand Cathay's Starbucks. Then went This Fashion to search for clothes. Alot of nice nice clothes there. Lucky got my size. =/ Anyway, I'm kinda not used to the clothes Belinda had chosen for me. =/ But I suppose it really looks nice on me? I hope. Belinda was pretty angry with her friend luhs. I went home at about 10pm. And here I am blogging. Shall end here. Tmr still needa go Eunos CC for Sec 3s SLC Orientation thing. BYEBYE. blogged @ 11:41 PM Had Welcome Party today. I guess. I'm too tired to say anything. Roll Call, Games was fine. I was definitely enjoying myself. And I think the rest enjoyed themselves too. It was when everything screw up and then people get bored. When my 3 of my Sec3s don't turn up, I felt so embarassed. Like hello, I can understand one of them who is not feeling well and took the initiative to call me before GB and told me she's not feeing well. And the rest? One was still sleeping when I called her and then was seen in bus 225 at 10 plus in the morning when Jing Han and I were struggling for words to say during sharing? I bet another one was still sleeping too. Since I can't get through when I call her. How disappointing. OIC was late for don't know how long. And when I called, she was still at home. None of the officers came ON TIME. Today's "sharing" is so screwed can. Everyone got bored listening to us. 'Cos I couldn't express the words well. And I was already half-no mood already lor. I had no choice. The word UNHAPPY was written on my face. I did try to SMILE. But sorry luhs. My smile was so fake can. And drill was totally screwed up. We did the procedure of Roll Call to show the Sec1s so they will roughly know what we normally do in GB. Anyway, I seriously dislike the way some officers are handling certain stuff. It's like they asked us to plan the programme then they told us to rearrange last minute. You know when one person is late, everything gets pushed back. And it's the important person who was late. -.- Whatever. I'm complaining. Party was fine. As usual, food wasn't finished. And were given to BB. After everything, we fall out and went to the Basketball court to play. I didn't play luhs. I wasn't feeling that well already. Can say not in the mood luhs. After that we went home. I went home to sleep luhs. Was damn tired. blogged @ 11:22 PM Friday, January 18, 2008 Just came back from Meet-the-parent session for Sec 4/5s. Yey. I didn't fall asleep during Principal's talk. =/ True enough, it's the same old thing which was said last year. EXACTLY the same thing. Just that different people hear only. Last year my brother went then this year my mum went. Mr Goh say I very guai lor. Hehe. Mr Jhee say I not talkative. Yey. Hahaha. But actually I was talking alot just now 'cos like what Mr Jhee say, I excited what. So I talk alot lor. Heh. Anyway, nothing new lah. Just that I love my teachers ok. :D Ok lah. They are really nice to me. :D Alright. I totally forgot about today's session can. I slept until 1730hrs. Then mum msged me and told me to meet her at 1830hrs. =/ Dumb. I feel so dumb now. How could I have believed what someone said so much? Please tell me why I'm so dumb. Why can't I handle my own problems? I'm tired ok. I may seem so alright physically. But who on Earth really knows what I'm thinking of. You damn liar. I HATE YOU. I suggest you look into the mirror. Toy with me eh? You'll be toyed. One day. How dumb can anyone like me be? I'm stupid. FULL STOP. blogged @ 10:33 PM School was fine. I suppose. I still look so dead. =/ Anyway, I guess I still can't really concentrate during certain lessons. I'm so tired. My body is aching. Planned for tmr's programme after school. Was pretty disappointed with some of them lah. But there's nothing I can do. I just wanna finish everything and just get out of there. I wanna walk home. I love to walk home. I can think of so many things on my way home. But some of my friends think that it's a waste of time 'cos I won't lose weight even walking home. Was discouraged. But I must not be defeated. I must work hard. I must show others that I will slim down. Though I will take more time, give me some time. I'm tired of being looked down at. You guys will never taste the feeling of being made fun of. It hurts. Seriously. I'm going for all TAF sessions. Though I don't feel like, I will. I promise. Nobody motivate me, I motivate myself. It's impossible to lose some weight before CNY, I know. But surely two years is enough. Having morning runs on Monday and Wednesday. Lets work hard together! :D MTP session later. Sian-ed. Everytime I hear about the same old stuff. Grr. blogged @ 3:20 PM Thursday, January 17, 2008 Early in the morning, at the quadrangle of BNSS, my day was lighten up by a bottle of "luo han guo" drink by Ms Ho. Surely I was shocked when I saw it.(: Thank you Ms Ho for your bottle of "luo han guo"! :D School was rather fine for me. Had PE. And yey. I felt rather fresh after running 2 rounds of the school. Don't know why but I just like the feeling of perspiring. Though I will stink after that. =/ Lessons were fine. Like any other day, we went History Room for Social Studies. I've leant something new today! :D On how to write good conclusion for essays. Anyway, I seriously think I need help in POA. And I'm meeting Miss Fanny Tan on Monday. :DD So happy. (: Oh yey. Anyway, I'm beginning to love Maths more already. Which is a good thing. :DD Had to meet some girls to plan for programme for this Saturday. Sad. Jing Han cut her hand today while opening GB room. Hope she's okay now. (: Then went up to the hall for CCA Registration. Needa help Ms Ho as she wasn't in school to do that. She went for POLY Openhouse with her class. So, I had to help her out. The rest didn't really do anything luhs. Just sitting around. Had only 4 sec1s this year. How sad. But, I guess there's nothing I can do. I was supposed to go for POA remedial. But because the CCA Registration ended late, I cannot go for lesson. Went for Gym Orientation today. Was pretty happy still. Then after that I wallked home! :D Went for tuition 2hours later. Then here I am blogging. Oh yes, thank you, Leong Bing and San San for teaching me when I really had no idea how to do some sums. Thank you! :D Walked San2 home, then here I am blogging. :D blogged @ 10:31 PM Wednesday, January 16, 2008 I'm so tired about some stuff. =/ I hate you for saying you want to be with me. Please get out of my life. But nah. Nvm. Dun feel like blogging today. Byee. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANN CHEE! blogged @ 7:49 PM Tuesday, January 15, 2008 I look so dead. I sound so dead. ARGH. Maybe I should be like Jin Hui. MIA myself. I don't quite feel like updating my blog leh. 'Cos there's nothing much for me to update on school days. And I should spend more time on my studies than on my computer. I've been spending alot of time on computer luhs. And I seriously have nothing to do on the computer other than blogging, Friendster-ing, MSN-ing, and stuff. So boring. I used to have so many things to do online but now like so dead. My tagboard is dead most of the time, I think. Anyway, should be time I go back to church. Like what Shawn papa say, I've "rested" or rather MIA-ed for so long since my EOY last year. I don't know. I'm feeling so difficult to commit myself. ): I feel difficult to concentrate and pay full attention in school. I'm so pathetic. I refuse to g back to my church in T21. I gave myself excuses. I felt like an outsider in church. I don't feel the warmth anymore. I don't know. I always expect to see something different, feel something different when I go back everytime. But, to my disappointment, what I got was just "Oh hello Pamela." That kinda stuff. Perhaps I do feel love in BC. I wish to stay. Really. I've got friends there.(: For Shawn papa's church, I was only there for about a month. I did get to know new friends. And sure, they are very nice people. I just don't know where I should stay in. I'm afriad to take up roles in church probably that's the reason why I haven't been attending church for such a long time. But anyway, thank you Shawn papa. I will come back. I promise.(: You didn't message or call me today.. blogged @ 8:38 PM Monday, January 14, 2008 Oh yeh. Just came back from M'am's office not long ago. I went there to collect the girls' cullottes. Whatever lah. I'm damn sian-ed. =/ Anyway, school was fine. Early in the morning I look damn lethargic. I looked as if I wanna die. =/ But bo bian lah. Eat medicine what. Bleahs. I managed to keep myself throughout the day. :D Yeah man. Hehe. Ok, I think I seriously got nothing to blog about today. I was alone during recess and stuff. I'll get used to it. (: Sian-ed. Meeting some NCOs and 2 Sec2s tmr to plan for programme this Saturday. Other than that, meeting the Sec2s to pass them their cullottes. Well, must be submissive. Have to be accountable to Captain. AHHHHHH. Anyway, shall end here today. :D Wow. How great is that. You said you love me. Wow. Should I believe you? blogged @ 3:12 PM Sunday, January 13, 2008 Went for Xiao Ping's BBQ just now at Pasir Ris Park. Before that went to meet M'am Lisha to see doctor at her house there. Great. Cost me 44 bucks. Please make sure I recover hor! I really don't wanna spread to anymore people. Now my mum kena and is blaming me. ): Anyway, went to meet M'am Pei Jun, M'am Grace and Lee Mei at Pasir Ris MRT. Waited for the rain to stop. Then waited for their friend to come and fetch us as it was raining, to the site. Yey. I succeeded in starting the fire! Wheee~ Haha. Anyway, M'am Lisha told me I really matured alot in these few years in GB. Something I still haven't change is my size. Maybe yah, I look slimmer compared to Sec1. And something I really dislike is, I don't know how to handle my feelings. Sad right. I wish I can handle my feelings better. I don't wanna be such a sensitive person. I'm totally upset luhs. Nvm lah. I guess. It's meant to be. Nahh~ Nvm. Anyway, Xiao Ping very blur lah! She forget alot of stuff. She forgot lighter, tongs, ice, and what else? Can't remember. Ok lah. I'm tired. I end here today. Sian-ed. I don't think I doing my homework already. =/ I left early from Xiao Ping's BBQ to come home do my homework sia. Now, I say I'm not doing already. WTH. =/ blogged @ 10:15 PM 1. Where is the person you have feelings for right now? ` I don't know. 2. When was your last kiss? ` None. 3. Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you? ` Yes, Puay See. Haha. 4. Do you sleep with the TV on? ` Sometimes. 5. What are you doing right now? ` This survey. Watching tvee. 6. Whose All friendster Password Do You Have? ` Dun get you. 7. Name what you did yesterday? ` Went for GB. slacked with friends at Tech View. Walked home from school. 8. Do you have a job? ` No. 9. Are you dating the last person you kissed? ` No. 10. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school? ` No. 11. Is there someone you wanna date right now? ` Haha. I guess so. 12. Have you ever crawled through a window? ` No. Tried to. I guess. When I was young. 13. Who knows a secret or two about you? ` Jing Han. Hui Yi. 14. Can you handle the truth? ` I hope so. 15. Are you too forgiving? ` I guess so. 16. Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex? ` Yes. 17. Olive Garden? ` What about it? 18. Are you closer to your mother or father? ` Mum. 19. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? ` Nahh~ 20. Do you have trust issues? ` Yes, currently. 21. Would you live with someone without marrying them? ` No. Unless emergency. 22. Have your friends ever seen you cry? ` Duhh. 23. Who was the last person you cried in front of? ` Can't remember. 24. Have you ever wanted to strip naked in front of someone? ` Diao. Am I that 'cheap'? 25. How many people can you say you've really loved? ` Two. 26. Do you eat healthy? ` Yes. I hope. 27. Do you still have pictures of you & your ex? ` I dun have an ex. 28. What are you listening to? ` Sounds from the television. 29. If you could pick one person to disappear from the planet, who would it be? - GWMT 30. Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you? ` Duhh. 31: How often do you go to church? ` Irregular. =/ 32: Speaking of church, are you going to heaven or hell? ` I don't know. Let God decide. 33: If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to? ` Carmen. Jing Han. Hui Yi. 34. Are you loud or quiet most of the time? ` Loud. 35. Are you confident? ` Of? --------------------------------- 1. Are you in a complicated love situation? ` I don't know. 2. Do you hate more than 3 people? ` No. 3. The last thing you drank? ` Plain water. 4. Favorite chocolate bar? ` Cadbury Dairy Milk. 5. Have you ever tripped someone? ` No. 6. How many pairs of shoes do you own? ` 2? 7. Have you ever thrown up in public? ` No? 8. Favorite genre of music? ` I don't know. 9. Do you like your teacher? ` Yes? 10. What are your favorite colour(s)? ` Black, White. 11. Is anyone in love with you? ` I don't know. 12. Favorite colors to wear? ` Black. 13. Pepsi or sprite? ` None. 14. How many video games do you own? ` None. 15. Do looks matter? ` At certain times. 16. Are you too forgiving? ` Yes? 17. Do you own something from Hot Topic? ` No. 18. Do you own a gun? ` No. 19. What did you do last night? ` Use comp, sleeping. 20. Nick names? ` Pam Pam. Pambuda. Pomelo. Pamelo. 21. If you had a super power, what would it be? ` Able to read others' mind. Like how they think of me and stuff. 22. Are you thinking about somebody right now? ` Yes. 23. Ever called somebody Boo? ` No. 24. Are you happy with your life right now? ` I don't know. 25. Do you like your hair? ` Not really. 26. Does anyone like you? ` I don't know. 27. Last book you read? ` I Believe You. 28. Are you afraid of the dark? ` No. 29. Have you ever stripped? ` In the toilet, going to bath. 30. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? ` I don't know. 31. Can you cook? ` Egg. Rice. Instant Noodles. 32. Things that annoy you? ` People who don't reply my messages. 33. Money or Love? ` Love. 34. What do you want more than anything right now? ` I don't know. GWMT 35. Do you enjoy scary movies? ` Fine. 36. Relationship or one night stands? ` Relationships. 37. When was the last time you said "I love you"? ` 2 days back. --------------------------------- THREE NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU: ▪ Pamela ▪ Pampam ▪ Pam THREE MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR LIFE: ▪ 031292 ▪ 090692 ▪ 090108 THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 3 HOURS: ▪ Using Computer ▪ Watch Television ▪ Breakfast THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY: ▪ Smile ▪ Think Positively ▪ Laugh THREE OF YOUR HOBBIES: ▪ SMS-ing ▪ Blogging ▪ Walking THREE PERSONS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST: ▪ Eric Ting ▪ Grandmother ▪ Ru Wan [I miss the old Ru Wan] THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE: ▪ New HP ▪ New pair of black Havaianas. ▪ CNY Clothes THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE ITEMS: ▪ HP ▪ Computer ▪ Digital Camera THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY: ▪ Paris ▪ Singapore ▪ Hong Kong THREE FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTERS: ▪ Powerpuff Girls ▪ Kirby ▪ Doraemon THREE GIRL'S NAMES: ▪ Carmen ▪ Yi Chun ▪ Jing Han THREE BOY'S NAMES: ▪ Timothy ▪ Eric ▪ Brandon THREE MALLS YOU USUALLY GO TO: ▪ Tampines Mall ▪ Century Square ▪ Bugis Junction THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE FASTFOOD: ▪ MacDonalds ▪ KFC ▪ Long John Silver THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT: ▪ Fatty Weng ▪ Food Junction ▪ No Signboard THREE FAVORITE DRINKS: ▪ Iced Water ▪ Iced Lemon Tea ▪ Green Tea THREE THINGS FOUND IN YOUR BAG: ▪ Pencil Case ▪ School Books ▪ Comb THREE FAVORITE COLORS: ▪ Black ▪ White ▪ Blue THREE EVENTS YOU'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO: ▪ CNY`08 ▪ SLC Gathering -090308 ▪ Finish O levels. ------------------------------------ 1. Last person you had a deep and meaningful conversation with? ♥ Yin Huan Dao Shi. 2. What does the 10th message in your inbox say? ♥ "Will let you know the details as soon as i have it. Maybe i will have it tmr will msg you once i have it. Haha" -Timothy 4. Pick 1 person you trust with your life? ♥ GOD. 5. what was the last thing you ate? ♥ Breakfast. 6. What was the last thing you highlighted? ♥ None. 7. Who is the last baby that you held? ♥ No idea. 8. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names? ♥ Erm. No. I suppose. 9. Are you ticklish? ♥ Yes. 10. Have you ever worn a crown? ♥ No. 11. Last time you've seen fireworks? ♥ Fireworks Celebration. One week after NDP`07. 12. Who is the last person that left you a text message? ♥ Yi Chun. 13. Do you have a black dog? ♥ No. 14. Do you have a little black dress? ♥ No. 15. What colour is your underwear right now? ♥ -.- 16. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? ♥ Timothy. 18. Are you missing someone? ♥ Yes. I suppose. 19. Reason behind why you last cried? ♥ Some drama serial on Channel8. 20. How much cash do you have on you? ♥ Forgot. 5 bucks, I think. 25. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? ♥ None. 26. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret which would you choose? ♥ Change a major regret. 27. What’s on your mind right now? ♥ - GWMT 28. Do you have one deep dark secret? ♥ Yes. 29. Wouldn't you rather be having sex right now? ♥ WTFish. 30. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had? ♥ Ms Fanny Tan. 31. What was the last thing you ever got grounded for? ♥ Wasn't grounded before. 33. Do you have any strange phobias? ♥ No? 35. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? ♥ Married. 36. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? ♥ Teletubby- Lala; Sakura & Ling Li, that human char siew bao. Eew. 37.When you are old enough are you getting any tattoos? ♥ I'm not getting any. 38. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? ♥ No. 39. Do you crack your knuckles? ♥ Yes. 40. What's one thing that can always be found in your refrigerator? ♥ Iced Water. 41. What colour are your bed sheets? ♥ Yellowish-Orange 42. How many kids do you plan having? ♥ 2. 43. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? ♥ - 44. How would you rather die? ♥ Natural death. 45. Have you ever been in love? ♥ No. I wished I did, with him. 46. When was the last time you went out of the state? ♥ 2006, Nov-Dec Holidays 47. Have you ever had a true one-night stand? ♥ NO. 48. What would you spend a million dollars on? ♥ Half to parents. Quater to charity. Quater to myself. 49. We are all human; do you think we judge someone for a past indiscretion? ♥ No. But minority still does. 50.Generally, in life, what makes you happy? ♥ Friends. Family. blogged @ 10:22 AM Do you like, really love me? Seriously. Just tell me can? We together 4 days already lor. Yet I still feel insecure. I feel like a younger sister to you rather than a Girlfriend. I've become tired of wasting my time. We don't even look as if we are together. I'm puzzled. I don't know if I still love Eric. I know it's impossible between Eric and I. I don't know why we are together. I'm keeping everythingto myself. Only I know. You don't seem to reply me. Why tell me you love me when I don't think you do? I tried to "hint" you that I'm not feeling very happy. You don't really care. I have so many things I wanna ask you. Our conversations are short. Maybe it's just the beginning.. But. I don't know if I feel happy with you. I don't know if I've made the right choice. I don't know if I should just say it's over between us, you don't care about me, why make yourself miserable? If you don't love me, please don't say you do. Please don't say you wanna be with me. Please just say you are toying with me. I asked you if you were toying wth me. But. You didn't reply. It's not too late to end our relationship here. I don't wanna cry for you like I cried for him. I'm feeling rather miserable. Now I know how being in a wrong(?) relationship feels like. Maybe all along I'm wrong. I'm wrong to have told you that I liked you. I'm so wrong. It hurts. Seriously. And I'm pissed with you for always not replying my messages. People said that you're mad. I don't believe. I didn't ask further. It was all along a big mistake. I don't think this is even my first love. It's screwed up. Totally. If I never knew you, if you never knew my email, all these wouldn't have started. I don't wanna end up being hurt again. I don't know if I have trusted the wrong person. I have never been in a relationship. I don;t my first relationship to be so screwed. I don't want you to be miserable because of me. We might as well be just friends. I have nothing to say. It wasn't moodswing or what, I suppose. I was just telling you it was moodswing because I wanted you to reply. Oh how attention seeking. I really don't know what to do, what to say. blogged @ 9:04 AM Saturday, January 12, 2008 Wahlaooooo. I'm sooooo bored. I hate Saturdays! Grrrr. No nice tvee shows to watch, no good stuff to do. Grr. Don't ask me to read books/study on Saturdays. =/ I miss SOMEBODY okay. Nahh. Eh. Anyway. I'm still coughing BADLY. Can YOU bring me to the doctor soon? Pretty pleaseeeeee? I don't wanna end up with Asthma ok! ): And CNY is coming sooon! I don't wanna be the odd one out! :'( I wanna cry liao. Someone lend me your shoulder ok? =/ Oh yes! I just got my Family BBQ pictures! :DD I shall post them since I'm like so freeee. :D PAPA . MAMA. :D Our EXCITED, ANGRY,SAD,HAPPY. [xi.nu.ai.le] (x Their EXCITED, ANGRY,SAD,HAPPY. [xi.nu.ai.le] (x Daniel's EXCITED, ANGRY,SAD,HAPPY. [xi.nu.ai.le] (x I don't know what I'm doing. -.- ACT CUTE#1 CRAZY#1 & 2 FUN.FUN.FUN SEDIA . RANDOM SEXY . NORMAL DAO . SAD HAPPY . SHOCKED RETARDED . SMELL-SPEAK-HEAR-SEE-TOUCH-NO EVIL GHOSTLY Ok done. Eh. But some pictures are really ugly. =/ blogged @ 9:55 PM Damn. I couldn't find my Uniform Accessories this morningwhen I woke up luhs. I called M'am Jasmine and told her about it. But in the end I found them in a "hidden place". Zzzz. I was on the dot! :DD I thought I'll be late. Grr. Early in the morning got people call me. =/ Bleahs. Anyway, last touch up for the Openhouse. Set up our booth and stuff. Got unhappy because of certain arrangements made. Sian-ed. But at last we still got to follow. Zzzz. Anyway, NCOs were in uniform then. Sec2s were in COY tee, National tee and last year's Camp tee. Were splitted up in groups of 2 or 3. Lee Mei and Valerie were with me. And we were sent up to the hall. -.- At last, none of us got to talk to anybody. This year's recruitment is pretty disappointing. Only 3 wrote down their names. Last year we got about 17. Wahlaoooo. I tell you ok. I think my school this year's Sec1s more than half the population of Sec1 girls are Malays lor. I think that's one of the reasons why we got so little number of girls who left their names. =/ Had debrief. Changed out of Uniform. Slacked outside GB room with Veronica, Jing Han, Valerie, Kim Hong and Zhi Li. Then went to Foyer sit there for quite some time. Went to Tech View to have our Lunch. Was already 12 plus going 1 already. We chatted until 3pm. Then we went off. Yey. I walked home again. I perspired alot! :DDD Oh yey. I feel so greeeeaaaaaaat! :D Oh yah. Shawn papa message me ask me go back church. Then I promise I'll go next week.. Then following week I going for somebody's church's Amzing Race. I wonder what is it about.. Should be fun. I hope. =/ Ok lah. I think I end here for today. Very long already hor! =/ I can't tell others about you and me.. I can only keep this relationship to myself. I don't know why we are together. Perhaps, maybe, because I love you, and you love me(?). I wanna let you know, I love you. blogged @ 5:31 PM Friday, January 11, 2008 Yey. I completed my day by walking home again! Sense of satisfaction. :D Anyway, went to school as usual. I love Fridays. Friday's timetable is just short and sweet. Hehe. Oh yea, it's BB day today! HAPPY BB DAY TO ALL BB BOYS! :DDDD Had SS for the period, then had 2 periods of Chemistry, followed by 2 perods of English, then Recess, after Recess was 2 periods of POA then followed by 2 periods of Mother Tongue. :DD Nothing really special happened today though. Recess-ed alone. Whatever. Hui Yi's not in school today. Then my other good friends had the 1100-1130 recess. Sian-ed. Nvm lah. Lee Wee, Chen2 and Zoe sat with me though. Doesn't matter whether I'm alone or not luhs. (: I think I'm so dumb today. Because I said some stupid stuff to someone. =/ Weird. Moodswings. I guess. So, after school, went level 1 study area with Sophia. Waited for Ms Ho to come down from the Staff Room to open GB room. Had quite afew stuff to touch up on for tmr's CCA Openhouse. Good thing Adeline and Shirlene helped us out. Thanks alot! :D I was there crapping. Or rather self-entertaining. =/ I was super high I guess. Chatted with somebody on the phone for awhile. Then went on with work. Finished everything at about 1515hrs. Was drizzling after awhile of rain. I love walking under the rain! WHEE~ Anyway, went Tech View with Zhi Li, Kim Hong, Jing Han and Lee Mei. Had quite a long chat luhs. And I so enjoy the conversation with them. :DD We chat until about 1730hrs. Then we went our own ways. Jing Han went to meet Adeline in school, Lee Mei, don't know go where. Kim and Zhi Li stayed at Tech View to discusss about tmr's stuff. As for me, I walked home! And yey. I spent only 40 minutes today! I walked as fast as possible. First thing is because it was going to rain already. Second thing because I wanna sweat even more. :DDD Alright. And here I am blogging. :D I MISS YOU MANY MANY! <3 dead pigeon seen on staircase of BNSS. Time of witness: between 1030 - 1100. blogged @ 6:40 PM Thursday, January 10, 2008 Went to school as usual. Had PE. Ewww. I hate it lah. I hate when when peopl stand around when you take your weight. So insulting. Ok. Not insulting. But it's just not really respecting others' privacy luhs. I don't like people to watch me take my weight, looking at my weight. Makes me feel damn down today can. Whatever. Hui Yi didn't come to school today - not feeling well.. Recess-ed, oh, I just sitted with Lee Wee, Zoe and Chen2. But didn't really talk lah. So, concluision, I was alone during recess. FULL STOP. Anyway, went to class for POA. Oops, I wasn't really paying attention to Ms Goh. Thinking of other stuff I suppose. =/ OH YES! We got our Yearbook 2007 today! Damn happy about it. Eh I can't believe it can. Under CCA, don't have my face!! Not even a tweeny winny bit luhs. Sad right! Stupid photographer. Grrr. And got afew picturesof me in PE attire. WTH? But ok lah. Though it's pretty ugly.. =/ Went for Health Check at the school Library at the end of Maths lesson which was the start of another 2 periods of POA. I was the last girl today luhs. 'Cos Bo Jun wasn't in school today. I wasn't like the rest. I went back to class after checkup. :D The rest went strolling around the school just to waste time then go back class later for POA. -.- Oh, I was supposed to go for remedia today. But I told Ms Goh that I'm sick then I went home instead. Eh. I'm really sick ok! No joke. (: Yey. I got to walk home today! :D I don't know why I so happy when comes to walking home. Doesn't matter walking alone or with a group of friends. I just feel happy lah. I must be constant lah. If not where got effect sia. =/ Great. Having tuition later. Had two questions for homework last week. I did bot. But, one of the questions damn weird lah. I don't know how my graph turned out so funny. =/ I thought I was tired. I tried to sleep. But, cannot sleep lah. Don't know why also luhs. Bleahs. Ok lah. I think I end today. BYE~ I LOVE YOU ok. :D blogged @ 5:37 PM Wednesday, January 9, 2008 Ok. This is my 800th post. Heh. A lot right. Haha. Hmm. Went to school this morning with Hui Yi. School was fine, I guess. Mrs Kong came in to talk to us about POA teacher. Zzzz. Anyway, I wasn't really paying attention during SS today. Don't know why lah. I think the teachers always talk about the same things once they step into our class. Maybe in a different way but they are seriously talking about the same old thing. Zzz. Went Bedok Inter after school. Went for lunch, went to M'am Jasmine's office to get the Sec 1s' COY tee, then walked home from Bedok Inter. Jing Han and I went to get our boards then came my house to do it. Not finished yet though. I feel so dumb. Bleahs. I'm being random. =/ Alright lah. SHIT! Taking height and weight tmr. I seriously hate it lah. Yes yes, I'm afriad to put on weight. I wanna grow taller! =/ I hope you ain't playing with me. I hope it will work out well for us. I hope you are serious in being with me. blogged @ 8:19 PM Tuesday, January 8, 2008 EDITED Day started well today, I guess. Damn my "secret" was discovered. Bleahs. How dumb can I be?! Anyway, went to AVA room listen to Principal talk. Then went History Room for SS. Damn. The teacher kept talking about the same thing. And didn't really start lesson proper. Zzzzz. Anyway, seriously, I miss Miss Fanny Tan.. I don't really like my currect POA teacher, Ms Goh. She's.. Whatever. Had Assembly today. Same thing, listen to Principal talk again. Then went home only at 2 plus. I wanted to walk home!! But I was "threatened". WTH. Bo bian have to take bus back to Bedok Inter. Went to get Hui Yi's new phone, then went for lunch, and came home. I'm gonna visit the doctor's later, and also develop Openhouse pictures. =/ Just came back from seeing the doctor and dinner. Went to develop the photos also. Then when coming home, there's a lady, came forward to us and asked how she can get a cab there. Well, She's from Austrialia and was super pissed with the taxi driver who drove her all the way to 539 there when she wanted to go 518. Poor girl. She's pretty lah. And she's only 17. :D Haha. Wahlao. I seriously think I got some feelings for you lah. But I cannot tell you lor. Saye rase saye sukekan awak. After so many things happened, I can't go back anymore. Suddenly, I felt that I cannot trust him already. We WERE bestfriends. But now? Nahh~ I don't know what are we now. blogged @ 4:10 PM Monday, January 7, 2008 Went to school early today as I was gonna get my EAGLES Award. Waited and waited. Finally there were more people coming in. I went up on stage to get my EAGLES and stuff. Went to class, my classmates were like, "Pam! How much you get uh?" Then some of them will be like, "Eh! $450 never share!" Haha. Nahh~ All the money will be banked in. (: School today was fine, I guess. After school, went to meet Hui Yi cos she needa see the doctor. Damn long waiting time at the Polyclinic. ZZZ.. So, I wasted my time copying sweet messages from Hui Yi's old phone into my phone. By the time, she finished seeing the doctor and got her medicine, it was already 3 plus. Went to have lunch cum dinner. Then went to walk round Bedok Inter. Came home at 5 plus. I did abit of my Chinese Holiday assignment, went to rest then woke up and continued doing. Sian lah. I wanna quickly finish my homework lah. If not will continue to pile up day by day. =/ Pam pam must be good girl, finish her homework and hand them in on time! :D To think of it, I seriously think that I'm missing somebody. =/ Whatever lah. I can't possibly tell him anything. That dumbass. have to see him on Thursday again. I'm so not looking forward to tuition. I haven't done my tuition homework yet. Must do them tmr. :D Alright for now. TATA. :DD blogged @ 8:20 PM Sunday, January 6, 2008 I was thinking.. What if suddenly I tell you that I like you? blogged @ 9:53 PM Alright. Went for Steamboat again at 400+ with my family and my uncle, auntie. I was sleeping luh. Then Mum wanted me to join them for dinner. Zzzz.. I was still coughing luhs. BADLY. But anyway, doesn't matter. I didn't feel like eating luhs. I wasn't hungry. I'm still kinda bothered lah. But there's nothing I could do. =/ Anyway, went Kaki Bukit CC this afternoon to get my Edusave Scholarship. Wahlao. I thought they will like present to me that's why ask me go 45 minutes earlier. Then end up I go there, give them the letter, received my cheque and went home. -.- But I didn't go home. *I was still in school unifrom FYI.* I went to find Carmen. Waited for her to wash up and went Bedok Inter for lunch. After that went to bank in Carmen's EAGLES Award Cheque. Went to get her school shoes at 101 Station. Diao. I saw BNSS senior. =/ Doesn't matter anyway. Went to Munchy Donut to get her donut. She dropped her donut before she could even have a mouth. =/ Bought another one lor. Then after that, I no mood already. I went home then. Sorry Carmen, I didn't accompany you to make your EZ Link Card.. ): blogged @ 8:32 PM Dumbass. I know I not pretty, I'm fat and whatever don't need like that bring down my self esteem right?! You think very funny is it? You are not any better also lor. Seriously, I can live with my life even nobody likes me. But I hate it when you cheat my feelings. Even ifI don't like you, you also cannot like that luhs. I already got so much problems already can. Now still add on my problems. No wonder people say you mental got problem lah. I've got more than enough problems for me to settle ok. Enough of all those nonsense lah. Spoiler. Spoil my mood for the whole day. Fish you. Act until so real for what. I won't trust you again! Get out of my life! I don't wanna see you again! It's NOT my pleasure for knowing you and have treated you as a friend. GET THE FUCKING HELL OUT OF MY LIFE. blogged @ 2:50 PM Saturday, January 5, 2008 Suddenly, when I read one of the blogs on my list, I thought about him. How much I've became stronger ever since the first day I have fallen into this "misery" of loving him. How much I have felt happy, worried for him. How many things I'm upset for because of him. However, for him, I only cried twice. How stupid was I to even be so stubborn. Knowing that I've got no chance at all, I chose to wait. After 3 years, somebody told him that actually I liked him. Suddenly, I couldn't face him. I cannot even talk to him. I felt so awkward. He did try talking to me. But I chose not to care. I chose to keep my distance. Then, our friendship worsened. It got better. I thought it could stay. However, I was wrong. My love for him got too obvious that I couldn't hide anymore and he knew it all. I don't know how. I did tell him in the past after a period of time that I'm letting go. But, for the second time, I really did not intend to let him know.. Is it my fault that his classmate whom I think is his BEST FRIEND now, told him to read my blog? Maybe if he never knew about this blog or even knew me, I guess he should be happier now. Not having me as a burden, I wished he could be happier. I was a burden. He troubled over me just like how I was so troubled over him. Like what some others say, to me, he's my priority but to him, I'm just a choice. But I think, I'm not even a choice to him. For every reason I gave myself, I loved him more. He's the whole world to me but I'm just a small dot on the map to him. I wonder, if I never loved him, maybe people around us will not be so worried for us, our friendship. Afraid that our friendship will just end here. It's definitely not what I wanted or expected. If only I could turn the clock around and go back to the past, I swear I won't love him like I do now. Maybe back then, I should've put BGSS as my first choice and not DMSS. Now, I have to face him every Thursday. I was wondering if I should ask for a transfer. Yes, I know I can't avoid him forever. But i just can't do it. I really don't feel comfortable with him anymore. I can't face him like I did in the past. We drifted. I don't think we will get back to the past. He no longer cared about me, I guess. I'm sick. I wished he cared for me like he used to when I'm ill. I've been coughing badly for more than a week and refuses to see the doctor. I'm truly sorry to whoever I've indirectly spreaded the germs. I did drink medicine and stuff. But still, it's not getting better. I think even if I visit the doctor, their medicine won't work either. =/ I just don't feel good. blogged @ 9:12 PM Went to school for GB today. Oh fun. Haha. Anyway, supposed to wear Uniform today. But then 'cos we needa do planning for CCA Openhouse next week and Spring cleaning, so we wore MUFTI. Had meeting with the girls, planned for the CCA Openhouse. Pretty tough. 'Cos you know, the younger ones don't really voice out. In the end we sorta came up with the same old stuff. Photo boards, Video clip, packing packets of sweets and stuff. Doing afew boards. Jing Han, Yi Chun, Xin Hui and I to 2 boards. Michelle, Valerie, Veronica and Miao Jun, Hwee Shi to 2 boards. My group is doing on last year's BBQ. And the other, on Camp`06. Taking out the current photos on the boards and putting new ones. Recycle! :D Great. I was "interviewed". Imagine me standing in front of the video camera talking about what I have learnt, how long I've been in GB and stuff. And my major faults, swaying around when talking, look at Big mahjiong paper in front and talk, so unnatural! =/ Oh anyway, GB started at 0800 today and ended at 12 plus. Too many stuff to do. Went to have lunch and then I walked home from Bedok Inter. I saw Shi Yu on the way home and we chatted as we walked together. Heh. I reached home at about 1410hrs, changed out, use comp awhile then went to sleep at 1430hrs. And I woke up at 1800hrs. Oops. I broke my record of afternoon naps. Bleahs. You know there's this guy, I just knew not long ago through some event. He's 17. He added me on MSN. Then he asked me if I'm from Yu Neng. Then I say yah. And he happened to be in YN also. He was from my bro's batch. Then we were chatting. Then suddenly he ask me a very weird question. "Have you ever been loved by someone?" So, of course my answer is a no. Thn we started to talk about those stuff. Suddenly, he asked me I wanna try like since I was curious? I chua tio lah. Then he gave me his number. So I was like, "you don't like me, I don't like you leh. Like that like weird eh." Whatever lah. Think he's joking. =/ How can anyone say try means try one. =x HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHILI! :D blogged @ 7:15 PM Friday, January 4, 2008 Oh great. So fast weekend already. School today was.. Boring? =/ Anyway, I walked home today! :D I walked home with Xin Hui, Yi Chun and Qian Ping. On the way home, suddenly, she got upset because of the guy she loved so much. She cried on my shoulder. Then it started to rain.. Walked in the rain.. Passed by BGSS, and suddenly thoughts went running into my mind. Oh whatever. They came to my house, dried themselves with a towel and I passed them each a t-shirt to change into. Wow. All my books are wet. -.- Oh yes, I have posted the letter. Lets see if I receive a reply. =/ For her: Hey girl. He's one that is not worth your love. I know you love him so much that, you don't wish for a break up. I know you are upset. You are a strong girl. Definitely. No matter how strong you are, you always need a guy's shoulder. Let A be the one. B? He's not worth your tears. Remember, it's ok not having a boyfriend, you still have us. You still have people who care about you. I'm willing to walk in the rain with you. I'm willing to share your tears. I know what you are going through. At least you were loved by B once. I was never loved by the one I have loved so much. You have A loving you, supporting you, staying by you. Be happy, live life to the fullest. I can do it, you can do it. I'm sure ou will get over it very shortly. Take good care of yourself ok? I'm always here. 24/7. Love ya always. :D blogged @ 6:31 PM Thursday, January 3, 2008 Went to school early today. Thinking that I'll be getting my EAGLES today. But unfortunately, it rained so the Award Presentation is postpone to next Monday. Oh great. Had our first lessons today. It's kinda dumb lah. Ms Goh is our new POA teacher. I still feel that Miss Fanny Tan teach us better. Nvm, if I don't understand anything, hope I can still approach her.(: Mdm Nurmah is our new Humanities teacher. She was talking about her expectations and stuff. Great. I fell asleep when she was talking. It's boring can. She spent almost an hour talking about her expectations and stories? -.- Mr Te is our new PE teacher. He was telling us that we come school not just to study but for education. Saying that PE is very important too. Blah Blah Blah.. I suppose all the teachers who came into my class said the same thing lah. Like "N level is just 8 months ahead. You should realise that you have very little time to prepare for it. This is an external exam not internal exam. You know that the system now to going to Sec 5 is 5 subjects < 20 having English and Maths as a compulsory to pass. You are lucky to be using the old system of 3 subjects <10 having English as a compulsory to pass...." Blah blah blah. Imagine I have to hear this over and over and over again. Bleahs. Anyway, I walked home today! I'm so happy! :D I'm gonna walk home everyday. Though I don't run, at least I still exercise. I walk at least 30 minutes everyday. :DDD I slacked at home, slept and stuff. I went to meet Puay See at 1850hrs to get my SS textbook. I'm still waiting for my workbook lah. After that, I went for tuition. I met San2 at my house downstairs, 1915hrs. Walked slowly to the tuition centre at 138. We talked about you-know-who. After tuition, San2 and I walked home together. He only walked abit with us then he went another way. For the whole 1 and a half hours in tuition or after that, we didn't exchange a word. San2 did talk to him after tuition. But I kept quiet. Walked in front of them. And whatever happens. San2 told me that he had a girlfriend. *WTF!* How great can that be. Nahh~ I don't wanna elaborate further. I'm going to do something about it. Are we still BESTFRIENDS? We don't seem to be.. Anymore. blogged @ 10:17 PM