Wednesday, March 28, 2007 sian. tmr got interal rehearsal no.2. lalala. it seems like, omg. wahlao. my bro dun wanna help me polish my boots. grr.. cos my boots like no matter how hard i polish, it still doesn't shine. get it?? tmr got poa test. on double entry rule.. seriously hope i can do it.. hope that it will be an easy one lahh.. ehh. i hope tmr i can come home first before i go st hildas for training. cos like i got so many things to bring uhhh. like boots, culottes, national tee, name tag, water bottle.. tmr still got pe lahh. it's like pe inside uniform can. let'ssee. pe tee, pe shorts, uniform blouse, uniform skirt, culottes, national tee.. this are the clothings i have to wear. grrr. ehh. anyway. today. nth much happen lah.. eh! mr jhee cut hair!! hahaha. cute sia. bleahs. ok lah.. eh. today went comp lab during physics. i'm the only one able to surf the net becos i have finished my holiday assignment.. so i did! bleahs.. then i was obsessed with mr beh's lab's LCD screen computers lahhh. so damn nice can. i want bring home lahhhhh. grrr. sian but cannot... eeyer. only can use 15 minutes sia. what only. but nvm lah. able to use can liao le.. hahaha. wahlao.today after sch i went library with huiyi and wilson. went there to study. but didn't really study luhh. we were doing our poa and stuff. bleahs. actually got extra lesson at hist room one.. but we didn't go. haha. eh i really cannot understand certain things lah. like igot a feeling that he still thinks i couldn't get over him.. is that the real problem? it's like HELLO?!! didn't i say it's over? how come we still like stranger sia.. it's like. why don't you just take it that i've given up? which i think i have.. and i have learnt to let go.. why can't you treat me the way you used to? omg. i dun understand. forget it. k lahh. bye. tmr will be another long day.. gotta settle my own dinner tmr.. sian-ed.. byee. blogged @ 11:03 PM hmm. i kinda miss my buddies... feel like so long nv go out together as 10 le.. and i miss my clique too. aww. i miss them soo much. we seemed so near yet we are so far. weiteng carmen cheukman nelson eric pam mel zhenxing randy kayan huiyi wanjing shihui leewee shanrong sophia pauline pam ruwan kahming daryl zaixuan i so miss them.. i so missed the times we used to have.. now, we are so drifted. like even see each other also like never talk le.. most of us are in different classes. and what? none of my buddies are in the same sch as me? then my clique from 12 ppl now only what? 2-5? wahh. what happen?! some, even same class also, suddenly like nv talk le.. though she dun wanna talk to them and stuff, behind them, infront of me, she still ask me about them.. i really hope we can like go out together again... my buddies.. i miss them luhh. dunno ah. now like i see zhenxing, dy, kayan also nth to talk.. then eric, nelson, mel, cheukman like i nv see them one lah. wahlao. that time i see eric i run awy. what the hell. that was ridiculous. now i xiang dao also i think it's ridiculous.. bleahs. then now i see kayan they all we nv talk one siaaa.. for cheukman, mel i'll nv get to see them.. even for nelson, his sch like quite near mine right, but we NEVER got to see each other. hurr. dunno lah. all of them change le. i also change le. they got their own bestfriends, own clique, their boyfriends or girlfriends.. like of course they spend more time with them lah. everyday see their friends lehh. then i also got shihui they all.. but now i only left huiyi le. shihui and wanjing diff class. then like very seldom can talk to each other. cos recess different.. then i want go home with them also difficult.. hais. nvm ahh. hope holidays can go with them lor. though i'm busy, but i promise i'll spend time with them ok? blogged @ 4:42 PM Tuesday, March 27, 2007 guess what. this is my 500th post in this blog already. and so fast i have used this blog for like 2 years already. haha. fast eh? 500 lehh. i dun think many have so many.. haha. hmm. anyway. today. isn't really a very good day. early in the morning kena scolding by my father le lor. so pissed. i cried though. pls lah. i'm a very weak hearted girl can. cry very easily.. so i seriously dislike ppl who scold me.. i mean not dislike ppl who scold me. but dislike getting scolded.. aww. nvm. anyway. dad scolded me.. then i defend like argue lahh. then he scold me and point me say, "bu yao gen wo argue hor. wo bu xi huan ren jia gen wo argue hor." direct translation >> "don't argue with me, i hate people agueing with me." pls can. you scolded me for like forgeting to off the lights, fan and tvee before i went to sleep?!! and i just said that i wasn't the last one to sleep can. then he say don't argue. whatever lah. spoil my day.. went to sch in his lorry. then i go sch my face like so black lah. dun wanna talk that kinda thing. after that huiyi came. ask me why i today face so black. then i dun shake me head. whatever lah. then after national anthem, i told her. then i strted to cry again. wtf. i should be the one consoling her can. becos. actually we are on the same boat. haha. but just that there was some replies in her "confession" and just that she confessed i didn't. haha. anyway. i was really tired this morning. i really could not get my eyes open lah. you know. me and huiyi alomost had a fight. i mean quarrel lah. but of us dropped tears.. i really dunno lah. but after that we apologised then both of us went back to normal again.(: oh yes. during PC today, mr jhee was doing sense and sexuality. we have to work in grps of boys and birls. seperated. cos cher doing an exercise lah. like to know boys nad girls better and stuff. today i didn't go for taf. dun feel like going duh. hahaa. bleahs. wahlao. edwin they all damn lame lahhh. talk to then you will seriously die lah. hurr. nvm. anyway. mrs chan is so nice! really. i thought she very fierce lor. but really she's very nice. lalala. ok lahh. nth much to blog about le. 3 more days to speech day. WHOO~! ok lahh. end here for today.. byeee.((: it's not that i don't wanna help you.. it's just that. it's not the right way.. sorry. blogged @ 7:45 PM Monday, March 26, 2007 aww. i'm so not gonna take bus 8 again!! like. go merry-go-round lahh. grr. nvm. anyway. supposed to have full dressed speech day rehearsal today. but i got NDP internal so i couldn't go for speech day rehearsal. after sch, i just went hall for some briefing for service learning club thingy. after that i went st hildas sec. i took bus no 8 lahh. stupid. so long. grr. i was afraid that i was gonna be late luhh. but luckily i wasn't. there were ppl even later than me. and pls, i reached early in fact. hees. anyway, rehearsal was. omg. the comander.. say command obviously not from stomach.. and he zao xia one lahh. out of tune one lor.. omg. and i have to face him for the next five months?!! grr. ok nvm. it was tiring but i must persevere. ((: and, there's another rehearsal on thursday.. friday still got speech day. saturday got laser quest with BB. many many things luhh. but nvm. i'm hanging on. lalala. actually, i felt really happy for huiyi lah. cos she made an effort to wake up for gb.. aww. and, finally she poured her heart out to her HIM. so yah lah. she's also waiting for an answer. for me, i guess i've already learnt how to let go. lalala. my priority for this year is, [1] slim down. [2] NDP`07. [3] cope with studies. [4] SL Camp`07. [5] studies. [6] House leaders' duty [7] GB. [8] Speech Day`07 [9] Leadership Conferences. [10] people around me. lalala. good right? haha. ok lah. i'm beat tired now.. hope there's no hw? ha. byee. ((: blogged @ 8:08 PM Sunday, March 25, 2007 hmm. woke at around 0610 today. supposed to wake at 0600 and morning call others. bleahs. but i ended up waking up 10 mins later. had enrolment & dedication service at expo today. i didn't get promoted. as i say. i'm getting SPECIAL AWARD. and that special award is, MOST OUTSTANDING BRIGADIER AWARD. lalala. oops. i forgot to salute after getting the award. i only remember to salute before. omg. paiseh lahhh. today sing the true colours.. actually ok lah. not so good not so bad. swinging the heart left and right. errr. -.- bleahs. anyway. mum went for my award presentation. really got ppl entertain my mum. talk aboiut god and blah blah blah. i'm so happy today. i get to see huiyi in uniform again. ((: i hope i get promoted to sergeant in august. haha. bleahs. next time hen i got the pictures for today then i post here.. now. memory card reader with wanjing, must wait until tmr. but i only got me and huiyi one. the rest not with me. hey. yesterday i found out that, HAZIQ and HADI is in NDP`07 TOO! still got one gal. dunno how to spell her name. i so happy. haha. at least i'm not alone. whee~! bleahs. sian. tmr got full dress rehearsal. but i couldn't turn up. i have my internal training. luckily it's at st hildas lahh.if not i really dunno i'll have to travel how far lahh. ok. tmr i have to reach st hildas like damn early. starts at.. 3? i gotta reach there early mah. just in case lah. and i needa bring my mufti and boots along to sch. great. tmr i have so many things to carry then. grr. nvm ah. i must persevere, hahaha. eh anyway. today. bb 72nd the creative drill rocks lahh. so damn nice.. lalala. then the bb 55J also damn cute lahh. bleahs. ok anyway. i enjoyed myself. but my grp B1, they keep suaning me sia. say what NCO sia. sec jiu NCO le sia. then my juniors also. esp seow fong. hurr. all bully me siaa.. bleahs. anyway, we had phtotaking after grp time and stuff. after that i went home with mummy. i go home changed out, i went to sleep le. HAHAH. oops. ok lah. i wanna bath already. enjoyed my day today. byee. ((: blogged @ 6:09 PM Saturday, March 24, 2007 had gb today.. and it was. err. ok lah.. but it was qwuite saddening luhh. but still ok luhh. i'm damn tired today. gonna sleep soon. haven't polished my boots yet. aww. i guess i'll only polish them tmr morning.. haven't feeling really well these days. so i'll just make this short lah. practiced for enrolment service today. it wasd err. no comments.. anyway. i'm not gonna get promoted tmr.. in fact, i'm getting a special award! hee. hahaa. had some photo taking today. then when i taking my photo, m'ams were like. ehh you put your hand there lah. cute mah.. then i dun want. so extra! so i just smiled lah. then when i smile, they say they can't see my eyes. -.- grr. so they wanted to take another one. i tried! i tried not to smile.. but sir andy told me to smile.. so i did! bleahs.. ok whatever. wah i damn sad! this few days keep eating rubbisghh.... i must stop all those junk food. bleahs. went huiyi house just now after tuition and stuff. helped her polish her boots. i had my dinner at her house. after some polishing, at around 2015? we went inter to buy my stuff luhh. after that went back to her house. polished finish her boots and at like 2200 i went home luhh. i gonna sleep soon. tmr got enrolment service at expo.. awww. i so look forward to it. but i dun wanna sing sia... grrr. ok lahh. i'm dead tired now. byee. ((: blogged @ 11:03 PM Friday, March 23, 2007 lalala. ok. got speech day rehearsal today. so hot lah. i was sweating prufusely. haha. HEY. i found my previous blog skin. whee~ haha. ok lah. i will continue tmr.. very very tired.. byee.(: blogged @ 10:04 PM Thursday, March 22, 2007 ok. i was watching tvee lah. the 9pm show. which is still showing now, the guanlin and xiwen right. is like one sided love lah. i mean xiwen like guanlin but guanlin had never liked her. guanlin was caring for this nurse, xiaoman from since her mum passed away and when her bf cheated on her. so guanlin has been really taking care of her. he lied to xiwen about some other stuff. he didn't wanna hurt xiwen. guanlin was afraid that sth might happen to xiaoman due to her illness, at home. so guanlin brought xiaoman home to stay so that he, his cousin, yifan and his wife, xiuyuan could take care of her and accompany her. one day, after guanlin brought xiaoman to a music therapy, xiwen saw them. and got suspicious. so she decided to pay yifan, xiuyuan and their baby a visit. as an excuse to know what's going on. guanlin doesn't know that xiwen was just downstairs talking to yifan and xiuyuan. he came down the stairs with xiaoman. yifan was like,"oh no..." but still, xiwen saw guanlin with xiaoman. and she was quite angry. maybe cos guanlin lied to her. xiwen said she's got sth on, will pay yifan's baby a visit next time. she asked guanlin to send her off as a guest lah. so they had a talk. xiwen asked him why he had to lie to her and that why is she treating xiaoman more than just a colleage. he said he didn't wanna hurt her. xiwen said that the more he treats her like that, the more she'll get hurt. and there she asked, "have you really liked me before?" guanlin kept quiet. xiwen was like asking where is she not better than xiaoman. and she had teary eyes. she said,"if you never liked me, you should have told me earlier. why must you wait till today?" still guanlin kept quiet. then suddenly, i remembered that time when i still like him, i did asked if he likes me. HAHA. ok. dumb. but seriously. sounds so alike lah. awww. i like that part.. bleahs. though make me xiang dao that time when i like him. but now, no more le. i've learnt to let go. thought it's a long wait, but, well, at least i have learnt sth. and i'm doing other stuff.. many other things for me to take care of. anyway. i went fior taf today. it was. gosh. i sweated soo much. ((: bleahs. omg. i gained weight. ok. now i'm really serious.. i wanna slim dopwn. ok. i'm always serious. it's just that i'm lazy. =x oh yes. i have changed my url. wahlao. i like my inspired-memories- grr. cannot use le.. cos dunno leh. then i cahnged to my current part-of-the-past.. haha. dunno leh. actually quite nice lah. hor? hahah. hmm. had social studies test today.. i think. i won't do so well this time.. hais. but anyway. these few days i'm damn tired luhh.. i seriously cannot tahan le. very tired. tmr still got speech day rehearsal. ehh. i like to wear the cullottes leh. but m6y gb mates doesn't like to! grrr. then have to wear pe tee and sch skirt to march. sian. but i like sia. to march. hee. ☠ << cute? copied from vice's msn. bleahs. ok lah. i'll stop for today. oh yes. I CAN GO FOR SENIORS' CAMP LEADERS' COURSE ALREADY!! i appealed for it. haha. k lah. end here. byee. ((: blogged @ 8:53 PM Wednesday, March 21, 2007 wahlao. i dunno what's wrong lahh. i just can't open my blog. stupid. i think many others also cannot open it. wtf. what's going on? it was fine the day before... who can open my blog?!!! stupid. i very angry luhhh. what the hell is going on with blogger? it just ccan't be opened. wtf. i machiam no mood liao lah. whatever. i will just make a short one.. err. today change sitting arrangement. i was rather unhappy lahhh. but i guess. it's rather fated lor. so ok lor. hmm. saw our class photos today.. grr. it was.. ok lahh. not as bad as i expected... i ordered one each. got 3 mah. haha. ok lah.i end here today. no mood to blog... bye. blogged @ 7:49 PM Monday, March 19, 2007 well. i dunno if i should feel down or what.. somehow. i just feel unhappy lahh.. since last year i already wanted to be a campleader... today, some of my friends got selected for senior campleaders course.. and i dunno why. i just felt.. so down.. it's like. i never gonna be a campleader. i never gonna lead sec2s in their service learning camp.. it was like one of my goals to achieve.. some people still, "haiyah cannot be campleader only. nvm one lah." HELLO. how much do you know? it's like you can feel unhappy that your results is bad, results lose to somebody. WHY CAN'T I FEEL UNHAPPY WHEN I'M NOT SELECTED FOR SENIOR CAMPLEADERS COURSE? why is it that whatever i do seems to be, a wrong thing? whatever i wanna do seems to be so wrong. tell me? why? what must i do so that you ppl will think IT'S NOT USELESS?? ok, fine. whatever i do is useless. cca is not important to you doesn't mean cca is not important to me. yes, you are a straightforward person. whatever you say, you dun care. but i tell you, whatever you have said, IS NOT TRUE. don't think you are right in everything and i'm wrong. PLS. yes, i wanna be campleader, does that bother you? i wanna be committed. i tried to be positive.. i had always wanted to be a leader. can? satisfied? only in school, i can be one. in church? oh pls. they dun even care whether i go or not. ok, maybe i'm really not fit to be one. or whatever. but can you just say sth encouraging?! it hurts me ok. and who really were there to ask me how i was feeling? you continued to say your piece. behind me?! i'm pissed ok. yesyes. whatever i do for cca, you can't right. cos you didn't even wanna turn up lah. whatever. f*ck it. and i'm really unhappy with my mates lah. so f*cking irresponsible can. 1335 outside gb room. who turned up? NONE. only what? the ppl whom i saw walked past gb room? and the rest dun bother to turn up? and what? i wait for you people? why should i even be waiting for you ppl when i can find my friends and go home together with them? and what? i ended up waiting for you ppl until 1350? and nobody turned up?! pls ok. some even see me then what? run away? HELLO. i'm already in bad mood ok. and you ppl just made me wait like nobody's business? who am i? your senior or what? your maid ah? you ppl don't even respect your elders lah. ok, leaving your seniors aside. what about officers? have you ppl really respected them? it hurts ok. you ppl are making me mad. why do i even have to f*cking feel unhappy for you ppl? why must i even drop tears for you ppl? i'm soft-hearted. yes. is that a problem? i seriously don't know what's wrong with you people taking us for granted? HELLO. can you ppl like respect us? we are alll tired ok. give us a break can. i ended up going home alone? when i could go home with suling and sophia? but when i reacehd the bus stop, got on to 87, THEN I KNOW THEY ARE NOT GOING HOME. how would i feel? and i just sat alone in the f*cking bus? and sophia like giving me cold shoulder? what's wrong with you ppl? what did i f*cking do? i very tired can. and i just cried alone in the bus? keeping all my f*cking tears? trying hard not to cry? not to drop tears? but i can't. i did, evetually. yes. i'm a f*cking weak girl. can? happy? i will end here. i dun wanna f*cking care already. bye. *strike outs are took back* blogged @ 3:13 PM Sunday, March 18, 2007 hmm. actually should be home finishing my holiday assignments. but huiyi persuaded me to go east coast lah. so we met at 1500 at alighting point. BUT! becos dom at last cannot go. so we ended up going for movies. we watched PRIMEVAL. whoo~ nice. haha. anyway. we watched at princess luhh. lalala. haiyur. i haven't watch just follow law and haunted school lahhhh. I WANT WATCH!! hais... we went ntuc to buy food and smuggle into cinema.. went back to princess and catch the 1515 show. the show finish at around 1645? then went library to have some hw done.. cos it's still early for dinner luhh. so went to do some hw first. then becos got one lady sit beside us. and her leg STINKs so. we decided to getr out of there. and we went first lorrr. becos of that lady must leave. eww. nvm. anyway. we went funland macs. went toilet first. THEN!! i saw toby working. heehee. then he like blur blur like that. haha. cute luhh. he didn't realised i was there until he had to like go to one customer and give him/her thier food. then after that, he went off. i msg him. i say actually he quite blur. then he say tired mahh. like he was supposed to finish work at 1730 but he extended his work hours until like 1815 lahh. ke lian sia.. bleahs. anyway. after having dinner, we were like doing our hw at macs lahh. yes! i finished almost all my homework. i left english the cut a newspaper article, one article's question, physics and chemistry. not alot lahh. now i lazy do le lahh. damn sian. hmm. went huiyi's place for chicken soup. HAHA. ok. huiyi asked me to go for chicken soup. hee. huiyi's mum damn lame luh! she say if she can don't go tmr appointment with mr jhee not. then i say cannot. haha.but she's damn cute. oh yes. me and huiyi suddenly become hokkien ppl already. cos we were speaking hokkien from inter, take bus until reach her place. hahah. then damn funny lahh. when in the lift right, she said sth, "PAM LOVE ____....." then i slap her lahh! cos she damn loud lahh. oops. SORRY! bleahs. haha. lalala. ok lah. i stop for today.. byeeeebye.((: blogged @ 10:14 PM Saturday, March 17, 2007 ok. i know i didn't blog yesterday.. but i was just too tired lah. and i was lazy toooo. i was polishing my boots lah. cos had to wear them today.. as like today had to wear full U for drill comp thingy..and i only slept at 1 plus last night lahh. anyway. yesterday, nth much happened. just that i went xinhui's house. wanted to do my hw. then after that i ended up eating all her pineapple tarts. goshhhh. oops. haiyur. i mouth itchy luhh. sian-ed. anyway. after that i went dinner with huiyi. then slack slack at the 112 swing there luhh... talk talk talk talk. after that i about 10 plus going 11 cai go home. stupid phone went flat. then rushed home to charge it. cos i was msging jer. lalala. =x sian sia. then after i polish my boots, i went to sleep. and i woke up at like.. 0630 this morning. i set alarm in my phone 0545 luhh. then i lazy wake up. so i continued to sleep. =x reached sch at around 0730. down there wait for ms ho and the rest. eh. today the 4 sec2s weren't there ok. huiyi wasn't there. grr. sian-ed. ehh! the bus uncle very cute luhh! i mean the one who sent us to nee soon camp and brought us back to sch. he was like so damn nice lah. he very friendly one. very kind also. it's like he let us use his cd player to play our stupid true colours to practise. supposedly using my radio. but m'am peijun's batt was too biggg. and mine was in my bag. and no time go back gb room take le what. so use uncle's cd player lorrr. then they keep talking talking talking. i abit pissed lahh. still say want practise. -.- when reach nee soon camp, uncle needed to change pass or dunno what lah. so after he took the pass from the guard house, he was like showing the pass to m'am peijun or who lahh. so i just saw it. and i was laughing also luhh. haha. damn cute lah his expression.. oh yes. today's weather like damn hot lah.. some more in full U ok! sian-ed. so hot. then wtf. i forgot my 1litre waterbottle lah. i mean i forgot to bring it from home. then i was like drinking m'am hweeleng's water lahh. haha. anyway. we were sitting as spectators to watch the drill comp. and we had to be damn quiet luhh. lalala. went back to sch at like 12 plus i think? when leaving nee soon camp, bus uncle was like, "ok BYEBYE!" to the gb ushers lah. haha. then everyone laughing. hahah. cute seh. reached sch at around 1? basurai-ed and changed out our U. and went to cs. HAHA. ate lunch and took neos.. sian-ed. was kinda pissed. grr. nvm. went home at around 1515. cos had to rushed home for tuition at 1600. sian-ed. i was wearing my gb tee. HAHA, oops. ok lah. after posting this, i needa chiong my hw already.. must finish by tmr.. grr. nvm. ok lah. stop here for today. byee.((: blogged @ 7:39 PM Thursday, March 15, 2007 hmm. went botanical gardens this morning. so tiring can. is like. go there not see flower. go there exercise luhhh. anyway. it's been a very tiring day lah. then after the botanical gardens thingy went back to school. i needa collect the bots from ms poh then pass them to m'am. i was very tired already. and i went to look for m'am. i called and called her phone. nobody answered. i decided to go home. i was so pissed lah. i was really tired and i had to wait for so lonnnnnngggg... nvm. it's over. anyway. what we did at the botanical gardens was, having to run to the checkpoints [1-8] and do what we were supposed to. we were split in to groups luhh. the we have to go in our groups to do stuff. took quite afew pictures lahh. then mr yeo damn funny. he was like commanding us luhh. i mean when taking pictures. haha. when going back to school, in the bus, xinhui called me luhh. then mr yeo was just like diagonally infront of me lah. then he look at me. i put down the phone le. he say, "who? boyfriend ah?" then i say."no lah. no boyfriend. nobody want ahh." then he dunno say what lah. funny. the pe teachers and the instructors also cute luhh. haha. hmm. i will post the pictures.. now? duck on the tree. HAHA. walking hand in hand.((: DEAREST.<3* ORHHHH!! mr te and mr viknesh.((: 80 ppl on the bridge. styleee.((: swaaannnnn. TAF.((: blogged @ 8:36 PM Wednesday, March 14, 2007 hmm. went to the civil defence hq today. awww. soo cool man. had a really great time there. but the bloody bus late then hai us all must take cab all the way from our sch to yishun industrial park A lahh. and it's when we are leaving on cab, THEN THE BUS CAME lah. wtf~ so irresponsible can the bus driver. grrr. then we got 7 ppl. so had to seperate into two cabs. my group got xinhui, jovy anmd yichun. then m'am elsa, jinghan and huiyi alone. wahlao. huiyi very angry lahh. if is me i also will angry de. hais. nvm. after that we had to reach there by 0900. so we reached there afew minutes later. woah. actually the firemen were cute!! haha. really. anyway. we proceeded to one of the halls lahh. then in there, there were the NPCCs lah. then also got us. we seperated into two groups. cos the group too big le. so ours is GB then the other group were the NPCCs. it's like national event luhh. but not alot of GB coys. only got like 3 companies lahh. then NPCCs i think also 3 companies. bleahs. anyway. we had like talks on fire safety and first aid. and hey! we got a chance to use the extinguisher! sooo fun. hees. wah. eh. today's session was soo fun. the young civil defence's officers all so cute one. they talk alot about like their experiences lahh. then super cute de.. they like what like that. like there's some stuff which made us laugh like mad. hahaha. really lor. i so enjoyed my day there. then suddenly i got new ambition. heehees. bleahs. i dunno lah. i just so enjoyed my day there. and huiyi did CPR today!! on a dummy. haha. cute luhh. later i post the pictures. hahaha. whheee~ i knew of a really big and bad news today.. i dunno if i should post it.. but. seriously. it's really bad. imagine.. someone you know.. who seemed so cheerful and carefree all the time. actually.. committed suicide?! hais. i dunno how to react. though i;m not close to this particular her. but. i was once like talking to her... took pictures with her.. chatting and playing around was fun with her.. she's no longer around. it's true. she's young.. she just seemed so carefree at times.. we all didn't know that this would happen to her.. only today that we heard about this.. not all of us knew about it.. captain doesn't want too many to know about it.. perhaps. all the m'ams are just keeping it from us... shouldn't we be informed? though she wasn't here with us most of the time, but she still spent time to come all the way from jurong to be with us, right here in our sch.. she joined us for our outing.. she's was so happy.. but nobody knew that, she actually had so many problems inside her.. i'm really sorry to hear about this.. really. i dunno what to say, how to react, what to do.. i pray that she'll rest in peace... god bless her. ok. i'm gonna do my homework liao. so tired. but i must finish so0me hw tonight. cos tmr i needa go botanic garden for taf thingy luhh. sian. dun feel like going. but. i promised shariffah i'll go. ok then. i'll go instead. haa. ok lah. i end here. byee.((: blogged @ 7:07 PM Tuesday, March 13, 2007 grr. went for blood test this morning at IOH. rest assure. there's nothing wrong with me. it's just a regular check up lah. cos the last time i had a blood test was like in 2000 mah. so doctor ask me do another one lor. wahlao. actually quite pain lahh. but i'm strong. i didn't cry. :p ahha.still remember the first time i had one, i was like crying lah! dunno why lehh. haha. kid! eh. i haven't bath sia. lalala. anyway.. supposed to go to sch today.. but then becos i got blood test and needa head down to gb hq to get some stuff. so didn't go to sch luhh. sian-ed. had breakfast at the hawker near outram mrt. after that we went down to take the mrt to kowan and took 81 to gb hq... took the wrong direction at first. then after that when coming down to change bus, my earpiece like hook on to sth lorr. thn my earpiece now one side spoil.. :'( anyway.. bought the national tees and stuff. and went back to tampines. had lunch there, bought my new school bag and went home. ok. my new school bag is another converse backpack. HAHA. ok. my current one is also converse. used it for 2 years le. then below got one hole. so i bought a new one. i dun wanna use the zinc one.. oops. =x oh yes. i just come back from chatting with huiyi. ok lah. huiyi ask me ask eric if he's free this sunday. then i ask lor. then he only replied once. -.-'' orh. expected lahh. after that huiyi call him, then talk talk talk. after that hang up. then me and huiyi was like discussing about some stuff. then! huiyi call eric again. -.-'' you know why? say he must go. hurhur. actually not really lahh. then ask him what he doing, not playing game, not studying, not homework-ing. but. packing for band camp's stuff. woahh. he in charge ok! then when he say he packing for camp tmr, i was like huh. that means if i msg you you won't reply lahh. then he say can lah. at night lor. then i say. orhh. at night nia ah? then he say. cos i on duty what. so i was like. woah!! on duty! hahaha. oops. ok i dun sarcastic ok.. aww. i'm feeling a little headache now lahh. dunno lahh. tmr still must go sch. must reach sch by 0800. sian. ewww. i smelt. SHIT. but i just dunno where it comes from. even my dad can't smell it.. ewww. nvm. ok lah. end for today.. byee.((: blogged @ 7:51 PM Monday, March 12, 2007 ok. i'm like using my bro's new laptop to blog today. HAHA. err. ok anyway. went to sch today.. EARLY IN THE MORNING lor.. what the hell. then actually i dun need go back to school for poa one. then i thought teacher gonna teach new thing so i went. -.- then at last is go school teach ppl. grr. 3E ppl like edwin they all easier to teach lor. i mean the second session the ppl easier to teach.. my class boys hard to teach luhh. grr. nvm. wah. when i was in the bus going to sch, i saw mdm yong can.. then i was like. omg.. so suay. and pls lor. she's not that early. she reached sch exactly at 0830 when the lesson starts can. siao lor. but nvm lah. haha. hmm. after class at like 1 plus ah. me, mdm yong and sophia went to take 87 home. and hey. i found mdm yong's age!! she's near 60 already!! myyy. and her second daughter is named PAMELA too. haha. i think i said this before. lalala. hmm. anyway. me and sophia went to look for my m'am first at her office. and i was asked to head down to gb hq tmr can. then tmr i got blood test in the morning.. sian-ed. tmr come back must start my hw liao or rather NOW!!!! heyy. i saw cheuk today.. that's when i was talking to m'am jasmine and sophia just saw him luhh. so i just said later we go find him. but after that he's now where to be found. i guess he saw us luhh.. but he just turned away i guess? ais. i kinda miss those days.. if only he didn't do sth, i guess, he's still not as bad. i mean his personality. oh whatever. anyway.. i'm so not in the mood to do my hw now leh!! grr. nvm. i will do latr i finish posting this. haa. ehh. i think laptops are cooollllllll. hahaha.. oops. ok lah. now i using my desktop liao lah. haha. cos me bro wanna use. lalala. sian-ed. looking for a good blogskin for wilson. grr. i saw one nice one.. wanted to use it. but it's like i think there's some probs with the codes. i can't cut and paste. awww. sad-ed. ok nvm.. if really cannot find then i ask him find himself then i help him settle the rest. haha. ok lah. i think i stop here for today.. byee.((: blogged @ 8:32 PM Sunday, March 11, 2007 hmm. went ktv with huiyi today.. cos she want pei me mah. like after what happen yesterday. she scared i will do sth foolish. HAHA. but NO. i'm not gonna do sth stupid. now me and him FRIENDS AGAIN.(((: anyway.. we sang for like.. 5 whole hours?!! we sing many many songs. after that at like 1820 we went for dinner. MACS AGAIN. wahlao. i everytime also eat. i quite scared liao lorr. anyway.. there was two guys sitting beside us at macs lahh. then they are like stupid idiots luhh. keep scolding vulgarities. and pls lor. they step ah beng lor. and, THEY DON'T F**KING LOOK LIKE ONE can. then huiyi was like, "wo zui tao yan na zhong blah blah blah" can't remember lahh. then she say "quickly go lah. see them i want puke lor." haha. then went to meet carmen at my house downstairs to pass her my cam. she wanna borrow it for her band camp. sian-ed. me and huiyi was like slacking at somewhere near her house can. cos like damn sian so we just went somewhere to slack luhh. then we talk talk. wahlao. i realised that after spending so much time in the ktv room, we smelt like.. some SMOKERS. and EEWWWW. i hate smokers for goodness sake. disgusting.. grrr. hais. i just reached home not long ago.. then now i very angry lahh. cos my stupid brother go buy laptop lor at the IT Show.. stupid.. some more still buy those in front got cam de lor. idiot. forget it. i wanna sleep already. i freaking tired. needa go school tmr for lesson. SIAN. my holiday like that burnt diao. I NOT HAPPY!! grr. forget it.. phew. ok lah. i end here for today. bye. ((: blogged @ 11:26 PM ok. now that i have read the email san have sent to me, i really will give up. HE'S MY FRIEND! haha. i'm strong. so, i will too. time is moving again. and i'm glad the time is moving again. but just give me alittle bit more time k. or rather, now! ok whatever. i'm not gonna be emo becos of this kinda trival matters already. HE IS PAST TENSE.((: blogged @ 11:01 AM they told me.. that. one day we will end up together.. but now, i guess we will never be together. and it's alright.. since i've got what i want, i guess it's time to let go.. though i can't bear to.. i will still be strong. i won't cry. i won't be sad over him. i won't make myself appear weak infront of them. infront of many others. we were never fated to be together. as i say, the moment we are able to be good friends it was already fate that brought us together as friends. even if we have no fate to be togetehr, i hope we are still bestfriends.. i hope i can still look for you when i'm down. or share my joy.. i hope we can go back to the past.. but maybe for the time being.. i won't msg you.. i'll just msg you when i think that i have totally let go. perhaps, if one day we, one big group of us go out together again.. maybe, i'll start to learn how to see you in the face, talk to you.. but i don't know when we are going out again.. i wrote about you for 2 of my school essays already.. the first one.. i wrote about her[PAMELA], him[YOU], and I[whoever]. it was advice given to I or her. whatever.. the second essay was, "the day i will never forget." and i told you that i was gonna write about the first time i held your hand.. when i asked you about your results, i thought you will ask me too. b ut i was wrong. you didn't ask.. whatever msges i have after you know that i liked you, you never replied the way you used to.. perhaps that was the hint san was telling me about. that YOU DON'T LIKE ME. i thank you for letting me have such memories.. such misunderstanding which made me feel like i like you. perhaps it was just misunderstanding. i misunderstood your feelings towards me.. so i sent that email.. if i never sent the email, maybe we still were good friends.. if nobody knew that i like you, maybe they won't tell you i like you. if i never sent those long msges to you, maybe we were still close. now, it drifted.. our friendship drifted. yes, it was my wishful thinking all along. i was stupid. you dropped hints, but i didn't discover it all along. and i insisted an answer.. i'm sorry. you said you were sorry, but, oh forget. here's the conver. me: Ok! Bday present sent out! =D him: Alot thx! me: You still owe sth. him: Yeah. next time then pass to u. me: It's not the money i'm talking about. him: Erm then? me: My answer. him: Wad answer? me: Can you like pls be frank? If you don't like me, just tell me YOU DON'T LIKE ME can? I'm like waiting lah. Then you pretend you don't know. What is this? What am i to you? How long do you want me to wait? Why do you think i've to do this? I hate the way i am now. I hate you knowing that i like you. I hate wasting my time waiting for a yes or even as no. What am i just waiting for? I hate the way you are treating me now. I'm very tired. I really do. How can you understand?! him: Half half me: What the hell is 'half half'? Like means like. Don't like means don't like. him: Abit like abit don't like me: There's no such thing. MAKE UP YOUR MIND. him: Dun like me: If you dang chu say dun like already, maybe i won't fall myself so deep into it lor. him: I not dare to tell u.. Sacred later u angry me: I'll just be upset lah. Who am i to f-ing get angry? If i nv force you to give me that f-ing ans, HOW LONG DO YOU WANNA KEEP FROM ME? UNTIL I DIE OR WHAT? him: Dunno when i will give me: Is that the f-ing reply you are gonna give? If you don't like me, you should just TELL ME IN THE FACE THAT YOU, DON'T LIKE ME. Instead of MAKING ME WAIT. him: Im sorry! me: Am i just gonna cry for you? Tell you how strong i am on the outside and how hurt i am in the inside? You have made me misunderstood your feelings. What's the use of trying to mend the hole when no matter how much thing you used to cover or mend it, it still just not gonna be the same anymore? him: -no reply- perhaps. this the answer both of us want. it has all along been my one-sided love that have create so much trouble.. i'm ending it here. don't worry ppl. i'm gonna be fine. i created this. now, i'm responsible in bringing the friendship back to normal.. i can't afford to cold shoulder him forever.. it's time for me to understand then. PAM ENDED HER ONE-SIDED LOVE STORY ON 10th MAR 2007. blogged @ 9:22 AM Saturday, March 10, 2007 hmm. woke up at like 6 plus going 7 i guess. then i rushed lah.. cos i needa leave the house by 0730. mum didn't wake me up at 0600. grr. nvm. anyway. went for JLTC today. needa reach wellington pri by 0945. everything starts at 1000. our job were to train the juniors gals for basic drill luh. had quite a great time with the girls whom i was in charge of. plus m'am peijun. hmm. anyway. i meet m'am peijun in the bus to go woodlands together. she just boarded the bus at where she lives lah. then we chatted on the bus and stuff. talked about many things luhh. then cos still got time, we went causeway point's macs to get something to eat. after that we went down to sembawang where we were meeting estherSIM and priscillia there at 0900. we walked to the primary sch from sembawang mrt and reached there at around 0915? grr. that was early.. nvm lor. then we sat at the canteen and chatted luhh. after that we just went to the hall to like wait for the drill thingy to start.. my group was very quiet luhh. as in the girls whom were appointed to me and m'am peijun lahh. they were very quiet at first. but they started to talk lahh. cute luh they all. got one girl name cherie, she damn chio one lahh. she damn cute also. haha. like her sia. ((: hmm.. ended everything at around 12 plus? we left aftter debrief.. it was a great time there lah. yahh. then me and m'am we took different train lah. she took to yishun and i took back to woodlands to take 168 home... sian-ed.. i was trying to keep myself awake, but still i fell asleep. -.- i was walking home from the bus stop near my house.. then i saw one big group of bgss band members.. and i thought i saw him. what sia.. nvm.. maybe it's just not him. maybe it's just someone who resemble him. oh whatever. oh yes, today's weiteng's bday. i wanna pass her her bday present!! but she dunno at where.. and her bday card not completed yet. and SHE'S READING THIS!! hahaha. oops. but anyway. present was cotributed to pam, eric and san. wahahha. thank us for that teng! haha. and the card is contributed and made by me!((: haha. ok lahh. enjoy your bday. hmm. i feel like finding someone to go somewhere to chat with me. but hais. i guess everyone's not free luhh. nvm.. yes! monday no rehearsal! haha. cos i'm like freaking tired lahh. then still, these days, still headache lahh. hais.. someone care for me pls!!! nvm. hahah. okok. just came back from tuition not long ago. but i sent sheauyun home first. haha. see i so good. bleahs. ok lahh. i stop herre for today. bye.((: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TENG!! blogged @ 6:32 PM Friday, March 9, 2007 awww. ms hiang's last day today.. then next term mrs tay coming back.. sian-ed. ok whatever. anyway. nad disturb ms nurul today luhh. she ask her to press some button on some stuff then ms nurul after that press then she beat nad like how i beat rosh. HAHA. becos they trick me also luhh. grr. nvm. hmm. had speech day rehearsal today.. was kinda tiring luhh. cos like under the scorching sun and stuff. started to train at like 3 plus after taking my history test. all the way until 5. then went home afetr that.. went to take 87 with huiyi and xinhui mahh. and we are meeting for a late dinner. haha. me and huiyi met at 2020 for dinner. then cos going inter what then xinhui dun want. haha. hmm. got back my results.. i think i post tmr. cos i need some rest luhh. tmr will be another long day.. haa. k lah. today's post a short one. haha. byee.(: blogged @ 11:26 PM Thursday, March 8, 2007 today.. i went to sch as usual.. had pe today.. ran for 3 rounds around the school and i got 11.31 min.. still ok lah. for ppl like me.. hahaha. oh yes. today alot of things kena stolen lor.. 2 mp3s, 1 psp, 1 history workbook, $5,$10,$23, $4=$42.. it's like. HELLO. all in one day ok.. and all comes from my class ok. as the victims came from my class lahh. and all lost during pe. when they come back from pe, LOST. it's like, they suspect is the 3H ppl lahh. dunno lahh. haiyur. then those thieves stupid lahh. they leave $2 in side each of the wallets which had be stolen. as in the money. then hoping that nobody will realise that money had been stolen. it's like damn dumb lahh. -.= grr. felt sorry for them.. hais. oh yes! i got my results. as in i saw my results lahh. it was good ok. except that i failed my chinese lahh. haha. ENGLISH- C5 M.T - E8 MATHS - A1 P.O.A - A1 COMB. HUMANITIES - A2 COMB. SCIENCE - B3 MSG - 2.4 ok. i know my english isn't that good. but what. I WAS TOP! i mean for everything. HAHA. whoo~! haha. at least i got 3 As can. haha. lalala. eh. i will post my actual results tmr when i come back from speech day rehearsal. see lah. i got speech day rehearsal tmr. -.= grr. nvm.. i will persevere!(: anyway. i almost cried becos of that POA teacher lahh. idiot lah she. anyhow scold ppl lor. hais. nvm. doesn't matter. :( ehh. had taf today.. quite tiring luhh. cos i went for the earlier session.. hmm.. went home to get my consent form for the NDP`07 to pass to m'am.. walked slowly.. slowly.. bleahs. okok. anyway, after i passed her the form and got my uniform, i went home.. saw xinyi and mummy.. then i sit with mummy lah in the bus. but i chatted with xinyi since she's just behind me. haha. reached home, then stayed for awhile lah. i used abit of computer.. then here comes the WORST call! actually not really lahh.. san called.. asked me if i'm coming down to buy dinner already.. then i was like. oh shit! must this be the way? then. i go lor. when i go down, i saw a group bedok green students PLUS san and some ppl lahh.. i dunno one. outside yuneng sia.. then i just walked to another side.. cos, i very very paiseh lahh. he called my name. i mean ok. practiacally EVERYONE called out to me.. i just walked straight.. as i was walking to like the hawker, san ran to me.. THEN!! he ran to me also. but i really really dunno how to face him. so, i just dao him lah. i ignore him.. phew. actually i really dunno i should be happy or what luhh. cos. i really dunno what's wrong with me. i just couldn't talk to him and stuff.. OH GOD, WHY DID THINGS GET THIS WAY?!! goshh.. hais. actually i wanted to talk to him. but. i just have no courage luhh. after sometime, san accompanied me to buy dinner for my bros. after that, i went home.. they were outside prima deli. i mean after i had sent san to the traffic light.. they = him and friends. then he saw me when i was trying hard to run away.. then he say bye to me.. "bye pampam" and stuff lahh. i didn't turn back.. i was scared lahs. hais. well.. what to do, i'm just afraid lahh. i msged him, "sorry but i really dunno how to face you." actually i wanted to wait for him to msg me which i think quite impossible.. so i msged him lor.. hais. nvm lahh. i'm just a dumbass. ohh, whatever. ok lah. i stop here for today.. byebye.. blogged @ 7:06 PM Wednesday, March 7, 2007 hmm. went to school.. had to go cookery room for weight taking. wahhh. sina-ed. then today sitted at quadrangle to do our silent reading.. ohh! today's weather very nice sia.. the wind blowing unto my face. awww. then soon, i dozed off. HAHAA. bleahs. but serious.. i have been quite shag these days.. argghh.. that mdm yong kept us back for poa, half an hour ok!! grrr. then after sch, i quickly went to m'am office to get the NDP consent form. WHOOO~!! hahaha. hmm. went tampines after that to get teng's bday present.. yes, alone. well, i always do. i mean. i always go somewhere myself.. maybe one day i will go east coast alone to emo myself luhh. haha. i think alot these days.. but seriously i have no idea what i'm thinking.. bleahs. i know it's dumb.. sina-ed. my march.. ahh! i still have my holiday hw to do!! putting that aside, i still have a test to go through lahhh. and it's SBQ for history.. school reopen got social studies test. woahhh. goshh. nvm. I'M GONNA BE STRONG!! PAM IS A STRONG GIRL!! SHE'S GONNA GET OVER EVERYTHING! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE AS LONG AS PAM IS AROUND!! ((: must be motivated!! haha. sian tmr got pe.. omg. i want report sick!! oops. cos i dun wanna run luhh. tmr still gtot taf ok.. then friday got speech day rehearsal lor.. then sat got gb. sunday got JLTC. monday got internal rehearsal.. omg.. ain't my schedule tight? grr. nvm.. everything wil be alright..((: 9oh yes, i haven't finished my story yet.. i was hungry just now while i was going home.. so i went OCK to buy sth to eat.. after that farhan called my name.. i was like. eh hello. haha. oops. then we chatted along the way lahh. cos we taking 67 luhh. then we chat about this year's speech day and stuff lahh. then we alighted at the same stop too. HAHA. ok. i just reached home not long ago lahh. maybe like one hr ago? lalala. and yes, i kinda hate my seating arrangement now.. cos it's like i talk nobody answer me one lor.. then even like got friend behind me or what they also ignore me one lor.. i felt very left out lahh. seeing ppl with their friends then i can only sit there quietly.. then if go for first recess, i spend it alone can.. hais.. they said they would be there for me.. when i talk to them they dun even answer me.. i feel so left out can. sian-ed. nvm forget it.. my life, my fate.. ok lah. i end here for today. bye. ((: you became her "laopo." i felt totally lost. do you know how i felt when i heard that you are here wife? i guess you don't.. blogged @ 4:25 PM Tuesday, March 6, 2007 hmm. went to school as usual.. nth special.. wahlao. damn tired luhh today.. san msged me ask me about TENG's BIRTHDAY PRESENT.. then i ask her want share not.. she say ok i think. then she say eric wanna chip in. -.- ok nvm.. gonna buy her bday present tmr.. seriously i dunno what to get for her.. eh teng, what do you lack ah? nvm. i will get for you sth special.. ((: actually today quite sian.. oh yes, very paiseh. i slept during mr jhee's lesson. omg. everybody was like looking at me can.. cos i'm damn tired lahh. then actually mr jhee's lesson quite sian. =x anyway.. had taf today.. and dunno why, during taf, i was thinking about HIM can. grrrr. you know what. before taf right, i called san back lah. cos she miss called me afew times.. after she answer the phone, dunno lah then keep asking eric dun run awy. wtf. nvm. not my business. taf was tiring as usual. bleahs. it has always been a torture. haha. soo tired lahh. and yes! i forgot to get my consent form from m'am hweeleng today!! omg.. how could i?!! haiyoh. i'm gonna get the thing from her tmr.. wahhh. i've soo many things to settle luhh. sian-ed. today is such a long day lahhh... hais.. tmr will be a longer day... DISASTER!!! mdm yong's gonna keep us back for another half an hour lahh. sian diaoo. hais. this few days dunno is it that time walk in the rain keep on having headache sia.. but nobody really ask me. -.- nvm. WHO CAERES?? my face abit warm sia this few days.. sian diaooo. ehh. i cannot fall sick at this moment lahh. i very very very seldom will fall sick de sia.. omg.. how can sia?? nvm. it's just weather that is making me berserk. haha. mdm fina always uses "berserk" . haha. bleahs. hais. my head starting to pain again luhh. i want cry aglready lahhh... hais.. my mum ask me to go buy dinner this thursday lor... then i confirm is go hawker buy de lor.. i scared sia... omg. grr. nvm.. san underswtand. cos she's the one who told me that. every thurs he would be there with his friends... DIEEEEEE!! nvm. i have to face him sooner or later. if i really see him, then so be it... and i really wonders if it's fate can. cos you see afew days ago, san just told me that he will go to the hawker every thurs evening. then! my mum told me that i will have to buy dinner for my brothers and myself lahhh. isn't it abit to coincidental? like. why must it be a thursday?!! goshh. what more can i conclude? it come just too. SUDDEN!! omg.. grr. nvm.. let fate decide.. i'm ending here. my head is kinda burning.. byee.. ((: blogged @ 6:30 PM Monday, March 5, 2007 well, i hope you ppl have read the previous post. i said i will give up. but i still dunno if i should.. i can't bear to. oh, i'm so dumb. i'm so indecisive. i wished i could be better. i was thinking last night on my bed, while msging grace... i thought to myself, "how will life be if i never knew him? hiow will life be if we never get to know each other?" so, i msged him, "what if we never knew each other? what if you never knew me? what if i never knew you?" and so, expected. he didn't bother to reply. grr. nvm. HEY, my officers have appointed me to go for this year's NDP!! no in school of course. ACTUALY NDP!! and like, the gb rehearsal starts on the 12th this month lahh. dates. 08th mar 2007 >>> history SBQ test on treaty of versailles 09th mar 2007 >>> kaien's bday + Annual Speech Day combined rehearsal [2] 10th mar 2007 >>> weiteng's bday + normal parade + tuition 11th mar 2007 >>> JLTC 12th mar 2007 >>> first internal rehearsal for NDP 2007 14th mar 2007 >>> Civil defence 2007 15th mar 2007 >>> peiting's bday + speech day rehearsal with my gals 20th - 22th mar 2007 >>> second internal rehearsal for NDP 2007 23th mar 2007 >>> Annual Speech Day combined Full Dressed rehearsal 24th mar 2007 >>> Annual Drill Competition `07 25th mar 2007 >>> edwin's bday + Enrolment & Dedication Service `07 28th mar 2007 >>> zien,siyuan's bday + speech day rehearsal with my gals. 30th mar 2007 >>> Annual Speech Day `07 you see? my schedule for march is like. full?! omg. ppl! you all must support me ok! dun let me fall!! i can't collapse!! arghh. oh yes, mr jhee called me just now when i was sleeping. HAHA. looking for mum. then i gave him my mum's hp number. after that my mum msg me, "very good you have done well maybe you can score better for your chinese next term" grrrr. ok. i have no idea what had happened to my chinese. dropped like hell luhh. wahh. i scored only 16/30 for my compo test lah! know why?? i used slang. grrrr. if not i could get better lahh. grrr. nvm. wah today i kept saying i very sad lahhh. actually, it's kinda true luhh. but at the same time, i'm happy too. for my results for term1, being selected to rep my coy for NDP `07. wahh. this few days i headache luhh.. dunno why sia.. ok lahh. i needa do my hw already.. byee. remember to support me!!! ((: blogged @ 6:24 PM Sunday, March 4, 2007 hmm. it's the last day of CNY and it just happens to be on a sunday.. aww. whatever. anyway. i said i would post what i have sent him last night right. here is it:- "If i can can turn back the clock, i'll definitly not tell you i like you even if i did. Now that i can't turn back the time, i shall put everything behind and i could only tell you that i've given up. I'm really tired.. I guess becos of these, our friendship drifted apart and it is not like before anymore.. I wanna tell you for you info just in case you don't know. It's not only 2 months that i've liked you. It's much more than that. At least 6 months? But i guess it's just more than that. Perhaps it's a year or so. Now, i guess it's not important already. I think no matter how long i wait, the answer will still be the same. It was me who wanted to tell you sth.. This is what i wanna say.I'm just gonna say and show that "I HAVE GIVEN UP ON YOU" to everybody.. I'm just gonna treat you like a brother. It's over. It kills but who cares. I just want the old friendship back. I want back the old you. I'm ending everything at this moment. Bye." i know. maybe it just seemed abit fake to tell him i'm giving up just like that when i'm just still gonna wait a while more. how long will that "a while" be? i've no idea..maybe. a month? 3months? 6 months? a year or even more than that? as i say, no matter how long i wait, the answer might just be the same. right?? ------------------------------------*[[the time will pass.]]*--------------------------------- hmm. went bedok inter with jaena to buy some stuff first. then went back to my uncle's house for lunch. sian-ed. nth to do.. listened songs and stuff.. went to sleep after that. HAHA. cos seriously, there's nth to do.. for the first few moments.. i thought of him.. oh well. whatever. sian lah. then at like 1830hrs went home.. i walked home instead of going home in dad's pickup.. cos it's like so much nearer if you were to walk home can. though it's just afew minutes faster than the vehicle.. and my house is very near my uncle's house can. grr. hais. kinda having a headache now.. wanna rest my brain already. byee. blogged @ 7:44 PM Saturday, March 3, 2007 hmm. went gb today. quite ok luhh. decided to use true colours as our enrolment & dedication service performing item.. awww. nvm. ok luhs. finalised the song, and sand the song afew times luhh. haha. had drills and stuff. after gb, had to stay back for awhile cos sir andy's gonna teach us drill. as in he wanna go through with us luh for the speech day. he damn funny luhh. he say huiyi march very funny. as in. like her hands is faster than her legs lahh. then he say alot of funny thing. haha. me and jinghan they all say she march like "walking like a model" lahh. haha. after everything, went bedok inter to have lunch.. was really hungry then. after that i went home. slept for awhile and went for tuiton. sian-ed. after tuition, i walked with san and sheauyun. chatted along lahh. cos i pei them walk to a certain place mahh. then i will go home after that. i mean everytime also like that. went to meet teng at 7-eleven with san lah. then we chatted and stuff. wahh. they talking about him again.. ohhh. nvm. it was kinda raining luhh. so we waited for the rain to stop, me and teng went to iris' house for bbq. as told earlier. they had indoor bbq luhh. and yes, i met two new friends. haha. yahan and ashley[is it spelt like that?]. yepp. then went up to iris' house to play ban luck and daidi. i won 12 bucks! haha. lalala. went downstairs, had some food, and took many pictures. haha. i shall post them. ((: meet my new friend. ((: lizards?!! -.-'' funnayeeee. self timed. ((: haha. cute eh? (: poseeeee. =DDD ok lahh. i go sleep first. my eys kinda pain. i will post about what i just sent him tmr.. remember to stay tuned. ((: haha. bye and tc. ((: HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUWAN!! ((: blogged @ 11:35 PM Friday, March 2, 2007 ok. i forgot what i did yesterday so i'll just blog about today. lalala. hmm. today as usual went to school. wah today is really a day luhh. had speech day rehearsal today.. then before that already raining liao lor. rain until very jialat can. hais i so wish i'm sick. ehhh. nono. haiyur. this few days keep raining. sian lor. i so wish of sth.. nvm. anyway. so fast 2nd mar liao lor. it's like soo fast can. it seemed just yesterday i just started sec3. oh so great.. =S wah next week still got speech day rehearsal. hopefully next week won't rain. this few days rain liek siao. just now in the morning no rain de. then in the afternoon jiu rain until so heavy. oh yes, today after school, after listening to mrs foo talking for like 20 min, mdm yong, my poa teacher, came to my class. when she outside right, after we say thank you to mrs foo, nad say, "OMG! DISASTER!!" becos whenever mdm yong appears, nth goodis gonna happen. so after thanking mrs foo, all of us ran out of the class asap lah! then mdm yong was like, "CLASS C(OME BACK!! DON'T GO!!" but everybody in the class just ran off luhh. bleahs. ok. i'm laughing at myself now. and also at that moment. -.- say me mad then! =x haha. so damn funny luhh. then me, sharon and suling went out of school together. me and suling saw 87 coming liao. then we like siao char bor like that we ran across the traffic light and when it was like flashjing the last few minutes liao lor. then after that we ran to the bus stop. phew~ we were lucky we caught the bus luhh. soo tired can. we were like panting heavily luhh. then suling say i run very fast. so i say, "the time we could run that fast is when you are chasing a bus, chased by dog or ath else. other than that, it's very hard to run that fast." hahaha. bleahs. ok that was lame. but hey. i think it's pretty true ok. haha. hmm. reached bedok inter and i bought my bus concession. went home after that. i went home, find my pe tee, changed and quickly go take bus back to sch for speech day rehearsal. actually i was hoping to see him. -.- ok whatever. anyway. i reached sch at around 2? then waited for the rest to come and at the same time waited for the rehearsal to start. went to have sth to eat... went to fall in after that. wth. we waited for soo long can. then at last becos rain getting heavier and heavier then at last didn't rehers. went to tech view to have some food. and oh yes, i walked in the rain. wahh. and now my head is kinda pain.. grr. very long nv walk in the rain le.. aww. i soo missed it.. hee. hmm went home after that luhh. oh yes, some teachers showed us our results le. not bad lahh. got improvement. ((: but i swear i must get better for the next term. lalala. ok lah. i stop here for today. if not my post will be LOOOOONNNNGGGGG again. hahaha. bleahs. ok lah. byee. ((: blogged @ 6:58 PM Thursday, March 1, 2007 grr. i dun feel like updating today.. update tmr.. byee. S= blogged @ 8:41 PM